Wyn Drabble: Unwanted Christmas presents, trendy and spendy

Wyn Drabble mulls over unwanted Christmas presents and the art of on-selling. Photo / NZME

OPINION:
I hit the Boxing Day sales but, methinks, 9.30am was too early.

I was looking for a bit of buzz – frenzy even – but all I found were a few other fellow shoppers going about their shopping in a restrained and perfectly normal way. Absolutely no bun fights.

My needs were simple. All I wanted was a pair of black rugby shorts, the kind I wear around the house and in the garden. I did not want trendy shorts, I did not want cargo pockets and I did not want words or emblems on them. Plain, common or garden black rugby shorts was all I sought.

My old ones had died and the elastic had disintegrated. This meant that, on Christmas Eve, even though I had tied the drawstring as tight as it would go, the shorts dropped straight to my feet as I walked through the yard. Of course, it could have happened in a worse venue.

Anyway, that was all I wanted – as well as a bit of Boxing Day buzz. I went home disappointed and, to amuse myself, I had to resort to the Trade Me "Unwanted Christmas Presents" category.

This is not a category I thoroughly approve of; it sounds ungrateful and it looks a gift horse in the mouth but I soon swallowed my pride and started to enjoy the offerings.

A number of people were already onselling various sorts of music boxes. There was, for example, a karaoke machine which was described without the use of punctuation except for a gratuitous apostrophe: "Fun new still in the box wireless all info in photo's"
If that didn't appeal, there was a white vase in the form of an owl. Or a stunning blue lace skirt "suitable for Xmas dinner". If you won it, it would just have to stay in the wardrobe for next year.

Quite a number of other offerings would also have to stay in a cupboard until next year. If you won the "SpongeBob Xmas bauble", for example, you would have to wait until next year to adorn your tree with it – what with the postal and courier services as they are.
Same goes for the "bulk Christmas items" ($30). From the photographs I could detect ice cube trays in festive shapes, tinselly bits and bobs, serviettes, mini Santa figures, and a tiny Christmas tree in a plastic canister.

There were choices on offer for the more sporting or active traders: a rowing machine for $200 ("just used it 2 – 3 times"); a kayak for $367 ("Unused Xmas present from 2020 but a used kayak").

And for the outdoorsy do-it-yourselfer, there was a sand filter and pump (please don't ask what that is) for $130 or a cubic metre of "builders mix" which, from the accompanying photos, I could only describe as gravel. What a lovely gift idea!

On the homemaker front, I spotted an electric flour sifter. I cannot imagine how electricity can become involved in the sifting of flour!

And there were quite a few "dreamcatchers". I had no idea what they were so had to look them up. You can too.

$25 could snare you an Ashley Bloomfield pillow case. He appears to bear angel wings but, on closer inspection, you will find they are fern fronds.

But back to my Boxing Day purchase. The outlet I trusted to supply me with black rugby shorts doesn't offer those any more. I came home with... I'm finding this hard to admit... black shorts made of corduroy! Imagine the reaction to those in a scrum!

There are no cargo pockets or emblems so I guess I'm a winner. But, if you think they're too trendy, let me know and I'll list them on Trade Me.