Wyn Drabble was watching the last over of India-Pakistan game in the T20 World Cup when at a tense and exciting moment the screen went grey. Photo / Photosport
Wyn Drabble was watching the last over of India-Pakistan game in the T20 World Cup when at a tense and exciting moment the screen went grey. Photo / Photosport
This week, I present further evidence that fact can be stranger than fiction.
What you will read actually happened and, without needing to resort to the usual satirist's tools of irony, exaggeration and a stiff gin, I'm sure I will convince you that real life can be stranger than fantasy.
The last over of the recent India v Pakistan game in the T20 World Cup provided a warm-up example. If I had been given licence to make up the craziest final over that could happen in cricket, I could not have dreamed up the zany series of events which occurred in that game.
And, if my genre had been domestic drama, I could not have made up what happened when we were watching it.
We had been out during the live event, so we were watching a recording the next day, and had managed to reach this point without learning the result in advance - a tough goal to achieve in the media mayhem of the modern world.
We were up to the last over and there were two balls left to bowl. The final result was poised on a knife edge, and we were poised on the leading edges of our seats. This was as tense and exciting as limited overs cricket can get.
Then, suddenly and without warning, the screen went grey, and the on-screen message told us our recording had terminated because we had reached the allocated finish time. Anguish! Disbelief! We could not even challenge this with a third umpire.
Remember, these were only the appetisers. So, it's now time to turn our attention to the main course.
I had need to book a rental car and, even though the hire wasn't going to be within New Zealand, I had an initial question I wanted cleared up first. I simply wanted to know whether I could use my existing Airpoints for car hire outside this country. Not a big ask, really.
So I did what I thought was the right thing and phoned the nearest branch to my home.
The number I used was clearly a local one, so I called the company, which for the purposes of this column I will refer to as Caterpillar Cars. This is to protect both the company and my booking and is not intended to malign the larval stage of members of the order Lepidoptera.
The voice which answered – my call was obviously important to them – was clearly not local, so I politely asked if he was in New Zealand. No, he wasn't.
Me: "But I would like to speak to someone local, please."
Voice: "No need. We can help you from here."
Where 'here' was, I did not know. I asked my question, but he didn't know what Airpoints were. He then asked for the name of the country where the car was needed.
Voice: "Oh, that's in Japan. I can organise that for you."
Me: "Fiji is a South Pacific island group."
Voice: "Yes, we can book for Japan."
I asked to be put back to my local New Zealand branch, so he put me through to... I'll give you time to think about this, but be warned that logic should not come into it... Melbourne, Victoria!
When I made it clear that I did not want Victoria, I was treated to a recorded message advising me that there were currently no Caterpillar cars available in... again, some time to think about this... Auckland.
Not only is this overwhelming evidence that fact can be stranger than fiction (I could not have made that up), but it is also proof that the world is indeed broken.
WARNING: Your allocated column space is about to
Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker.
