My pupils – despite many of them still referring to an apostrophe as “one of those little thingies” – were amused by a photo I was able to project onto the whiteboard. It was a photo I took of a commercial vehicle in Wellington a few years ago and it had the name of the business professionally painted along the side.
It would be unfair to name the business here; suffice to say it involved four words and within those four words there were two gratuitous apostrophes and one spelling error. It certainly raised a giggle. On the credit side, there was one exemplary apostrophe.
Is the sign writer to blame? Even if the clients had written down what they wanted and the sign writer simply reproduced the errors? I don’t know.
The specific issue I was asked about concerned the number of apostrophes in “dos and don’ts”. As I’ve just revealed, I favour one but there are reputable authorities (including dictionaries and style guides) which advocate two and even three!
I say it’s one because you are simply creating two plurals by adding ‘s’ (I’m with the Oxford English Dictionary, The Guardian and The New York Times on this one). Plurals simply do not call for apostrophes despite many people’s wish to add them.
The Macmillan Dictionary advocates two (do’s and don’ts) and their reason is “readability”. My question is why does only one of the words deserve the apostrophe?
Another widely used contender is three apostrophes (do’s and don’t’s)! I’m afraid that one leads me to call for a cup of tea and a lie-down.
The argument for three is based on the premise – which I can’t bring myself to agree with – that you can insert an apostrophe in plurals of numbers, single letters, abbreviations, acronyms and when pluralising a word that is being treated as a noun (as in the 60′s).
I’m sticking with my original call for one apostrophe simply because I see no valid reason (to indicate possession or a contraction) for adding more.
The following oft-used phrases are fine examples of how apostrophes can be important. The words in each are exactly the same but the apostrophe placement changes the meaning of each.
- My brother’s friend’s dogs
- My brother’s friends’ dogs
- My brothers’ friend’s dogs
- My brothers’ friends’ dogs
But, if it’s all too confusing for you, I’ll close with an easy solution for addressing/solving the apostrophe issue completely. It’s really very simple: abolish all apostrophes.
If you’re also a grim grammarian and are troubled by that suggestion, I’ve got some comforting final words for you: there, their, they’re.
