If your core beliefs about money were formed during times of financial stress, they may no longer serve you, writes Nick Stewart.
Nick Stewart is a financial adviser and CEO at Stewart Group
You can have $3 million in the bank and still feel poor.
I’ve seen it more times than I can count. Successful professionals sitting across from me, their financial statements telling one story whilst their faces tell another. On paper, everything looks perfect: high income streams, diversified portfolios, prestigious career trajectories, high value assets.
Beneath the surface? A different reality entirely. Goalposts keep moving, the finish line keeps shifting, and the peace of mind they thought money would bring remains frustratingly elusive.
This phenomenon rarely stems from what’s visible on their balance sheets. It comes down to three invisible relationships shaping everything: how they spend, save, think, and ultimately, how they feel about their financial lives.
Research shows financial wellbeing is more strongly correlated with psychological factors than absolute wealth levels. Understanding these relationships isn’t just about financial wellness—it’s about life wellness.
#1: Your Relationship with Money
The fundamental question few ever ask is, “What do I actually believe about money?”
Is money something you control, or something that controls you? Do you see it as a tool for freedom, or a source of anxiety? A measure of success, or a threat to your values?
Studies in behavioural economics demonstrate that financial decisions are driven more by psychological factors than rational calculations. And if your core beliefs about money were formed during times of financial stress, they may no longer serve you.
Understanding your money personality provides insight into why certain strategies feel right whilst others create internal conflict, regardless of their theoretical benefits.
#2: Your Relationship with Time
You can recover money, but not time.
Market downturns are temporary. Career setbacks can be overcome. Investment losses can be recouped. But hours, days, and years? They’re gone forever.
While knowing this intellectually, many spend time like it’s unlimited. They optimise for financial returns whilst ignoring time cost. Yet, research from Harvard Business School proves people who prioritise time over money report higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction³.
If your time isn’t aligned with what matters to you, no amount of money will create the freedom you’re seeking. That’s why some with modest incomes feel wealthy whilst others with substantial assets feel trapped.
Real wealth isn’t just about money. It’s about having choices. And choice is fundamentally powered by time. Think on how you spend yours and ask, “does this reflect what I say matters most to me?”
#3: Your Relationship with Yourself
Your relationship with yourself determines what is “enough.” It shapes what risks feel worth taking, and influences whether you see money as a tool for creating the life you want – or as a scorecard for proving your worth.
If you’ve never defined success for yourself beyond external measures, you’ll spend your life chasing an illusion. You’ll hit financial targets, career goals, accumulate assets… but they won’t create the security you crave.
Research confirms intrinsic motivations (personal growth, relationships, contribution) lead to greater wellbeing than extrinsic motivations (wealth, fame, status)⁴; your external wins are not as connected to your internal sense fulfilment as you may think.
The Integration Point
When these relationships are aligned, financial decisions feel natural and sustainable. When they’re in conflict, even objectively good strategies create stress.
Most people recognise that something isn’t working in their financial life, but they struggle to identify it. Making matters complex, our relationships with money, time, and self are shaped by decades of experiences, family patterns, cultural messages, and past decisions.
Why Professional Guidance Matters
A skilled holistic adviser helps you identify intrinsic blind spots, challenge the assumptions limiting your progress, and stay focused on what truly matters to you – rather than market noise or society’s definition of success.
Life evolves, priorities shift, and what felt right then may no longer serve you now. Regular check-ins with an objective professional ensure your financial strategies continue reflecting your current values and goals, not outdated versions of yourself.
There is no set-and-forget strategy when it comes to true financial wellness. Your plan must evolve to reflect the reality of your changing life. Just as your life is not set-and-forget, your financial strategy must be equally dynamic to serve you effectively.