This is Carr’s schtick, and he’s undoubtedly one of the best in the world at it. A breathless notepad list of one-liners that he’s been writing and mastering for decades.
And at a relatively receptive Opera House in Hastings on Thursday night, many of the jokes found their mark.
Over the past few weeks Carr has brought his Terribly Funny tour to middle-class audiences in provincial towns across New Zealand. He’s cracked the code for opening them up, and Christopher Luxon too.
But Carr, who will perform four times in Hastings, can already sense there’s a day coming when his jokes won’t find their mark.
He cites the “cancel culture” boogieman - a mythical beast that’s about as real as a Yeti - as he hammers through his opening gambits.
They’re just jokes, he implores as he mocks transgender issues and domestic violence victims, describes Central Hawke’s Bay residents as products of incest, and even laughs at gypsies, again.
Carr would argue that his constant jabs are designed to slowly bring down any of the politically correct walls his crowds bring into the theatre with them.
But it just doesn’t feel necessary. “I’m going down swinging,” he proclaims, as he hits his already weak opponents below the belt.
Jimmy Carr is performing four shows at the Opera House in Hastings as part of his Terribly Funny tour. Photo / Paul Taylor
When he ceases the one-liners and has a go at building his jokes up to a crescendo, the night starts to fall into place for him.
He does this mostly through audience involvement, where he is top-class.
Fifteen-year-old Conrad gets a hilarious lesson in when is the right time to show your penis to a girl (never) and over 60s audience member Viv is mourned because of his impending Covid death.
Laura the anti-vax apprentice builder is, predictably if you’ve seen his recent Netflix specials, roasted.
When Mark the stepdad tells him his name, Carr quips brilliantly - “you’re a stain?!”.
But the problem that Carr cannot seem to overcome with his stand-up is that he has no stories to tell.
We’ve known him for years now, from his star turn on QI to his hosting of 8 out of 10 Cats Do Countdown.
But even after another 90 minutes in his presence, we still don’t know anything about him - not really.
He either does not want to tell us about himself through his stand-up, or he simply has nothing interesting to share.
His shining moment of the night is when he speaks of holding his prematurely-born son for the first time, and of the fear he had that his heart would melt so much that he would lose his edge as a comedian.
The joke ends in a baby clothing shop in typical squeamish Carr fashion, but because he’s built it up with just a touch of vulnerability, it sings.
And then Carr swiftly moves back to his cacophony of lewd deadpan, where he paints himself as a rampant paedophile, a mother****er, and a man who hates his girlfriend.
