Plea for early detection lives on

Gayleene Kepka died in July this year following a brave fight with cancer. Photo/ Paul Taylor.

A son's eyes say it all - grief, anger, loss and a whole lot of what ifs.

Carlos Butcher lost his mother Gayleene Kepka on July 22 this year. He and a close knit group of friends and family spent those final precious days and nights by her side - sleeping wherever they could to be near her.

At the time he never really believed she wouldn't be able to walk out of Cranford Hospice as she had done many times before in her long battle with cancer.

She still "looked" well, kept her fighting spirit to the very last and never succumbed to negativity.

Mrs Kepka was an advocate for "early detection" and even in death wanted to reiterate the message via an advertisement in today's Hawke's Bay Today.

It was also her wish that an ovarian cancer support group be set up locally to "empower women with knowledge" and help those diagnosed with the illness.

While she was too unwell to see that dream to action, a colleague from IMS Payroll took the lead.

Mrs Kepka's journey began with breast cancer 11 long years ago - then came back a second time requiring a partial mastectomy.

When detected the cancer was in an advanced stage and had spread to the lymph nodes.

"I can vividly remember the phone call, I was 13 at the time, that news is really just earth-shattering," Carlos says.

"She went down to Palmerston North for chemo and radiotherapy, it was the first time she lost hair - she fought that fairly easily, and then it came back."

Three years later doctors discovered ovarian cancer - "the whispering killer" - which eventually took her life.

Carlos recalls screams in the middle of the night when his mother awoke with unbearable stomach pains. "At first she thought she had done too many sit ups."

The actual cause was a tumour in her ovaries "the size of a large grapefruit". In the four years that followed there was continuous chemotherapy, multiple surgeries and costly non-funded treatment in Auckland.

The beautiful, slim blonde always favoured a healthy lifestyle - steering clear of alcohol and smoking, while eating well and enjoying regular exercise.

What nobody knew then was that she had the inherited Braca1 gene, which made her susceptible to recurrence and accelerated growth with both cancers.

"If we had known that 11 years ago, she would have had a full mastectomy and a hysterectomy - like Angelina Jolie did very publicly. We weren't aware of the genetic testing till much later."

Carlos hoped to continue Mrs Kepka's advocacy work and encouraged women to get regular check-ups at the very least.

He encouraged others to consider life insurance, think about genetic testing if there was a history in the family and stay fit - something he believes kept his mother strong for much longer.

"Always ask for second opinions, seek medical advice, be your own advocate."