Disheartened at not being able to hunt for protein or fend for themselves, most people lost in the wild apparently don't die of hunger or thirst.
Instead, it's thought we perish due to the shame brought on by our inadequacies.
Let's hope none of us will ever be enlightened as to the veracity of this theory. However, for the four days of Easter Weekend it sums us up nicely.
That is, the annual spectre of a community terrorised when our life-giving CBDs close.
Come Good Friday Eve, the supermarkets resemble an Armageddon movie where citizens stock up on weeks' worth of supplies. Cars jostle for parks while swollen shopping trolleys throng the aisles.
Easter Saturday offers brief respite from starvation and the tills open after 24 hours of commercial hiatus; Thursday's dystopian mood returns and we again carry on like spooked horses courtesy of the prohibition-like Friday and Sunday. It plays out like looting footage from CNN.
Likewise each year the hoary trading laws issue resurfaces and, predictably, the Government cops a towelling for an unacceptable status quo.
The question is, are businesses which defy Easter trading rules catering to demand, or creating demand?
Frankly, I'm all for retailers taking as many days off as possible. It's a simple, secular philosophy based on the truth that time spent with family, rather than working or shopping, makes us richer.
There are only 3 days a year we're not permitted to trade - a meagre 0.96 per cent of the commercial calendar. It speaks volumes that we find that repressive.
Were all us shopping mortals to stop at Easter and glance in the mirror, inadequate and naked sans retail, perhaps we'd be inclined to blush a little.