"We know there are many people who have really inspiring stories of change and redemption that could help people who are currently trapped in abusive, violent and unhealthy relationships.
"We want to know how they coped, where they got the support and the tools that helped them to change their situation. We want to hear from both former perpetrators and survivors.
"If you, or someone you know can add to those stories of survival and change then head to the White Ribbon website and upload that story.
"We want to focus in on what we know works to help prevent violence by sharing stories of change and ensure people truly understand the many facets of abuse and how to intervene to help."
He said, "As you can see, we have displayed stories of women who were abused and ultimately killed by the perpetrators in their life. Each and every story could have had a different result and every element of abuse is avoidable, we just need the change.
"To tackle violence prevention White Ribbon has already focused on promoting healthy masculinities within our Respectful Relationships framework.
"In this campaign, we want to draw some of these threads together and empower the community to take action. Our 2021 campaign aims to link together resources and information to help show the diversity of the issues at stake and to offer ways to effect change."
To do so, he said the focus is on educating and promoting Four Key Domains of Behaviour change:
■ Healthy Masculinities
This means leaving those old stereotypes behind and teaching our young men and boys that masculinity is about respect. Respect for yourself and others.
■ Respectful Relationships - Treating others as you want to be treated.
■ Consent – nobody should be coerced or forced into any act, this is also about respect for each other.
■ Call-in Culture – where men challenge men about views they give. Most men would never support the disrespect given to women but may often leave comments unchallenged.
Mayor Tracey Collis spoke of a friend from childhood who died at 40 from her husband's actions and said it was vital people take action to intervene when they see potential situations which could escalate.
She quoted statistics that reveal there is a domestic violence incident every four minutes in New Zealand which is overwhelming police. She said we must not judge people but help them, quoting Mother Teresa who said, "If you spend all your time judging people you have no time to love them."
Constable Dayna Mercer, who researched the 20 women who lost their lives in violent relationships featured on the wall, said doing the work was very stressful at times but hugely rewarding.
"They did not have to die," she said, "if things had taken a different turn."
Sergeant McKernon concluded, "Obviously, the subject here is heavy and uncomfortable but we have to acknowledge the issue so we can look forward and promote the change, by shining a light on the victim's stories we can see what is happening in our communities by shining a light on the survivor's stories we can see that there is a way through.
"And by shining a light on the stories of men who were perpetrators but have made the changes, we can be encouraged that the change can happen and that there is a way to live in a better way. For me, these are the stories that will make the difference and break the cycles."
White Ribbon organised a rock hunt for school children who were rewarded with a prize from Tararua REAP and visited TDC councillors and some staff who all accepted the White Ribbon Pledge at their monthly meeting on Wednesday, before holding a 6am karakia at Stanley St tying white ribbons and each of the ladies' stories to the trees along the Dannevirke southern entrance on Thursday and attending a session in Pahiatua on Friday.
