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Home / Hawkes Bay Today

Adam Green: You won't hear me say 'no dice' again

By Adam Green
Hawkes Bay Today·
3 Oct, 2017 11:00 PM3 mins to read

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Adam Green

Adam Green

There are two types of people in this world. They can be separated by one simple sentence.

It is music to the ears for some but can be a nightmare for others.

It is uttered in homes, tents, baches and maybe even workplaces across the year.

Read more: Adam Green: A whole day just for me is born
Adam Green: Hot air turns balloon politics nasty

Come holiday season it leaves the lips of many more, and it has been the cause of arguments and glory around the world since the dawn of the Egyptian Empire.

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Just seven words, start to finish, and yet such powerful emotion can be the result.

Just this week it left the mouth of my daughter, a young girl of not yet seven.

"Who wants to play a board game?"

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I admit I am a reformed board-game lunatic.

Just 10 minutes of losing on a family holiday would send my usual jovial self into a pit of rage and despair.

Heaven forbid I should land on a purple property with a hotel on, slide down one of those crafty snakes, or miss another slice of Trivial Pursuit pie.

I could lose a running race with grace and congratulations to my opponent.

I was terrible at swimming but still didn't mind floundering around at the back of the pack like a half-beached fish. But bring on dice and a board and I could almost feel the anxiety brewing.

I tried, oh how I tried, to participate in this ritual of many a family, and even had moments of "fun" when things were even and the toss of the dice went my way, but "I don't want to play anymore" quickly turned to "WHAT A STUPID GAME" the further back I slipped.

But then children of my own came along.

Will I deny them the pleasure of a board game or two, I thought.

Yes. As long as I avoid ever mentioning those games, never let them have any friends and keep them out of any department store for life I should be fine.

"Not a practical solution, Adam," said my wife.

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"Perhaps you could learn to have fun playing board games?"

Is it possible? Could I potentially actually have fun with dice and cardboard?

And so I tried. And I WON!

Beating a little one at Connect Four is a piece of cake. They have NO idea how to invest wisely in Monopoly. And they know next to no answers in Trivial Pursuit.

So guess what, you "board games are fun" people?

Turns out you were right!

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• Don't miss Adam Green and Sarah van der Kley on The Hits Hawke's Bay from 6am to 9am, Monday to Friday.

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