What have we here?
NC290921onlineshopping.JPG
What have we here?
by Brenda Vowden
brenda.vowden
I'm a bit of an old-fashioned type of shopper. If I'm buying something, I like to actually walk into a shop, have a rummage through, pick things up, try them on, walk around if it's shoes, do a few knee bends if it's trousers — just to make sure.
But of course, times have now a-changed. In fact the changing room is now often the bedroom — purchases hastily tried on after they have arrived — by then the bird has flown.
Not being much of a shopper in the first place, it hasn't been too hard to resist the finger clicking good new way of the world — online shopping. But I have had a dabble of late.
I needed a top so made my way gingerly to a website which showcased an array of attractive young women wearing an array of attractive garments. I clicked on 'linen flared half sleeve shirt $48.86' — kind of in the ballpark. Made in Italy — ooh a bit flash. Why not.
Slide the mouse along a bit to the right and lo and behold there's a pair of pants which would be 'sooooo' perfect. Looked very flattering on the young one parading them. Dip of the hip, hand planted in a discreet pocket. That'll do nicely.
Hang on, wait a minute — how about some shorts. And why not go up a few centimetres, be brave, get some sun on those pins and look a bit less fuddy.
Go to the 'checkout' — for heaven's sake, even try and make you think you're really there — enter your details, ignoring any nagging doubt this might not be a good idea. Thoughts of internet scams and identity theft at the back of my mind — maybe I've watched too many movies.
Click 'go' or 'send' or 'buy' or something meaning I've just joined the online shopping brigade and try very hard not to feel awfully guilty — I'm now one of them that betrays the local retailer.
I've gone behind their back. They need all the support they can get. I manage to justify my purchase any number of ways and forget about the whole thing until weeks later when the courier van comes charging up the driveway, screeches to a halt and out jumps a very efficient person, shoves a packet and a pen at me. I sign, he leaves — deal done.
I go inside and rip open the packet, shaking out the contents and trying to remember what I'd ordered.
Pretty sure there was nothing about sumo wrestling in the pants description. This old crutch was near the ankles. The top was not made in Italy, perhaps it was 'designed' there — how convenient — and looked nothing like the photo. As for the shorts. Oh dearie me, what was I thinking. More like an A-line skort and very short to boot.
Summary of first online shopping experience. A smidge this side of dismal.
Can I be bothered filling out the 'returns' form, find appropriate wrapping paraphernalia, parcel them up, etc, etc, etc. No I can not. Will I be online shopping again in the near future. Again, that would most likely be in the negative.
The next time I feel the urge to go shopping, I will let my feet do the talking instead of my itchy little fingers.