LOVE OF LIFE: The late Lisette Mudge-Grob loved life, long walks, swimming, the beach and people. Picture supplied
Gisborne’s unofficial Swiss ambassador Lisette Mudge-Grob lived an unconventional, rich life. She died on November 15, nine days short of her 82nd birthday. Memories of her life, from Sheridan Gundry’s and Karen Johansen’s eulogies are presented here, with a final word from son Conrad Mudge.
Sheridan GundryFrom Zurich to Trin and St Moritz, from the UK, Canada and Australia to Gisborne, Lisette Mudge-Grob made friends and influenced people through her positivity, intellect, honesty and kindness.
Lisette was born nearly 82 years ago on 24 November 1936 in Chur Switzerland, to Austrian mother, Herta and Swiss factory director father, Werner. Big brother Walter preceded her; younger brother Conrad and sister Herta followed. The family later settled in Trin, a village of about 700 people.
After leaving school, Lisette was au pair to a family in the UK, where she improved her English; took every opportunity to watch movies and relished the chance to puff away on cigarettes at the same time.
Back in Switzerland in 1959, she worked in a bank in St Moritz where she met lifelong friend Martina. The pair and another young woman raised eyebrows when they moved into a flat together!
Canada beckoned. To stay warm on those days before she found her first job (in a Toronto department store), she travelled endlessly on the underground tube train. A job at the Bank of Montreal soon came her way. She was able to ski in Toronto and even joined a Swiss choir.
She later became au pair and English teacher to the children of Swiss geologist Herr Zimmerman who was moving to Gisborne to work for an oil drilling company at Opoutama. Lisette arrived in Gisborne on a Sunday in November in 1964. She was 28.
In Wellington the previous day, she was surprised to find there were no coffee shops or restaurants open.
Gisborne was little better.
“It was dead, empty and very sterile with no plants or trees. That was a bit of a shock. And just one big street. It wasn’t like that in Switzerland. Then I went to the beach, which was all right. The outdoor life and walking suited me fine.”
Before long she had joined the library, the folk music group, tramping club and film society. She was reserved to start with but was empathetic, always accepting of difference and had an endearing interest in people. She read widely and had a strong interest in international and national current affairs.
When she expressed the desire to find a painting to remind her of Gisborne, Graeme Mudge was recommended. She and a girlfriend went to the artist’s studio home in Ormond Road. Graeme promptly asked Lisette’s girlfriend on a date. She declined.
Before long, the Swiss beauty won his heart. Lisette and Graeme married on Swiss National Day, 1st August 1967 and celebrated with a traditional Swiss back-yard bonfire.
Lisette was like an unofficial Swiss ambassador. By the 1980s, about 25 people met each 1st of August to enjoy fondue, special sausages, cheese and good bread brought in from other towns for the occasion.
Anton’s was a saviour with European-style pastries. There was one coffee shop — Bermuda in Grey Street — open on Sunday nights and friends from folk music group would go there, but the coffee was the Cona drip percolated variety.
Gradually things improved. In the early 1970s, Gisborne’s first bistro style restaurant, The Bistro, opened in Gladstone Road.
Lisette and Graeme continued to travel. Their daughter Anneliese was conceived in Japan and born in Gisborne in 1970. Conrad was born two years later.
Lisette walked everywhere and, until 1994 when bike helmets were made compulsory, biked as well. She had a strong sense of social justice. She fought for the right for Central School parents and the community to get a key to the school pool so families could swim there after school hours.
She and Graeme protested against the 1981 Springbok rugby tour, Graeme at Rugby Park and Lisette on the street. They even talked about who would look after the children if they both got arrested.
Lisette was a huge supporter of artists, thespians and writers and often bought their works if not for herself, then to give to friends.
As a family, the Mudges travelled four times to her hometown of Trin, and stayed for six months or so at a time. Lisette wanted to ensure her children knew the culture and her Swiss-German language. As a proud Swiss she exercised her right to vote in Swiss referendum as they occurred.
“It was always hard coming back to Gisborne,” she said.
“Not that you didn’t like it here but it was like a homesickness. Sometimes it took half a year, other times a week, to adjust. Now it doesn’t bother me. I remember coming home in 1969 at the time of the bicentenary and standing on the corner of Peel Street and Gladstone Road. I was so homesick . . . then you just got used to it.
“I have grown fond of Gisborne. I wouldn’t want to live in Switzerland any more. People here are more tolerant, and not as constricted by religion. Gisborne gives a lot of freedom for me.”
Further travels included major walks across Europe including the Santiago de Compostela. She mobilised women to go on walks and tramps in this country too. She went to Canada and India with close friends from Gisborne. This year she visited
Cuba with another friend, and Melbourne with Anneliese and her partner Christian.
She enriched the lives of so many people. There was always that feeling she was thrilled to see you.
Hallo my friend, she’d beam.
Karen JohansenI first met Lisette when I was 17 and she was au pair to the Zimmerman children. We used to laugh a lot and we admired her stoicism as she coped with little complaint without yoghurt, real cheese, real coffee and European wines — not the paint stripping stuff we used to drink from cartons — and at a time when nobody had heard of broccoli and where everybody wore jandals not Birkenstocks.
Oh the delight when Adairs opened its little deli at the back of the department store next to the lift in the early 1970s.
I used to call in to see her when she worked at Berry’s, that high end fine china shop next to Adairs. I understand that customer traffic soared when this exotic European woman was there and not just because of the regular visits of that disreputable art teacher, Graeme Mudge.
A deeply-cultured woman, Lisette spoke Swiss German, High German, a bit of Romansh, Italian, French and very good Spanish. She was widely read in many of those languages and she knew about music and opera and western art and film and cafe life. She always supported home-grown expressions of music and opera and art exhibitions, films and cafes, in Gisborne.
And she gardened — the first globe artichokes I ate were hers. Every year I collected her quinces; our lovage plant comes from her garden and I have a computer full of the photographs of her garden in seasonal splendour — the sunflowers, the elderberry and, most recently, of the rhododendron in full beauty just by the front door. I think too of the November exhibitions in the house and in the Mudge home’s lush front garden.
I admired her energy and that tall strong body. Everything was possible — how she swam anywhere there was a river or a beach and she would walk to the beach if she had to, and into town, and the great walks across Europe are legendary.
When she married, it would take a very particular, strong personality not to be absorbed into the orbit of that dear, irrepressible, eccentric and brilliant man, Graeme. Many of us have fond memories of very noisy dinner parties, gorgeous food, rivers of wine and endless often impenetrable Graeme puns and jokes often told in his own brand of German.
Anneliese and Conrad were born in to this fascinating household and raised with love and opportunities that not many of their contemporaries would have experienced themselves.
I loved and admired the way Lisette did friendship — with generosity of heart and hand, with acceptance and a lack of judgement, with integrity, with curiosity about the lives of her friends, with a delight in the world around her, with an understanding of what is actually important in life, with loyalty and a great capacity for loving her husband, her children, her wider family and her friends, young and old.
When I kissed Lisette goodbye last week and told her I loved her, I realised it was the first time in 56 years that I had said that to her. That’s a lesson for me. I shall miss that special, special friend, Lisette — who am I going to practise my Spanish with over a cup of kaffee now?
Conrad MudgeMum was such a giver that when I was thinking of bad things she had done to us the only thing I could think of was the time after Cyclone Bola when she gave away to some kids who had lost their toys our skateboard and Lego.
Pam Ball put it real well when she said that Mum had many friends but when she was with you she made you feel like you were her most special friend.