STRAIGHT TALK: Column

Slow down and pay attention to us riders
I'm no fan of roller coasters - it has something to do with the loss of control and letting someone else be in charge of my health and safety.
Neither does skydiving appeal - although jumping out of a plane is preferable to bungy jumping off a bridge ... if only because it will take you longer to fall at terminal velocity before smacking face first into the Earth.
So how can a middle-aged chap not only get the adrenalin rushing, but also improve his fitness?
Cycling on our roads of course.
Your legs, heart and lungs get a good workout, not to mention your backside ... although it has to be said my brand spanking new machine has a rather uncomfortable saddle and the daggy safety hat does give me helmet hair.
Those things aside there is nothing like the exhilaration of returning home after a cycle in the streets knowing that you've survived another bout with motoring maniacs.
Fair go, the carnage done to cyclists over the past two weeks is unbelievable. Five dead. Goodness knows how many injured.
In those cases we can safely say the cause of their demise was not the cyclists' fault, but the people in the cars that killed them - or the Auckland idiot who opened their car door in front of a rider forcing them to evade it and falling under the wheels of a truck.
Now don't get me wrong, there are rude, stupid cyclists as well and those who take up half the width of the road are very annoying but - they are vulnerable and what is a few seconds of waiting compared with hitting one and maybe killing or maiming them. Nothing. So just slow down and give them a wide berth.
Mind you, if I was in charge I would ban riding two abreast purely on safety reasons.
I would also be putting in proper cycle lanes on major roads around our city.
Papamoa Beach Rd is a classic case of a road that just screams out for cycle lanes.
It's straight-ish, long and flat - perfect for summertime family rides.
And as for the argument that cyclists should pay for riding on the roads as motorists do, I'll point out that as a professional who cycles (albeit as a newbie) I pay more than enough tax to not only use a bike on the roads but also my two cars.
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There's no surprise in the announcement from Federated Farmers that they want all artificial pollination of kiwifruit to be suspended.
Industry-related people I have talked with were pointing the finger at the practice a week ago and now the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry has, unsurprisingly, found traces of the vine-killing bacteria Psa in pollen samples and say they dated back two years.
The orchardists are fuming that pollen was imported at all and were positively screaming at the chance the pollen was illegally imported by someone trying to save a few bucks.
One guy I spoke with on Sunday said the culprit should be drummed out of the industry.
But MAF says there is no firm evidence this contamination can infect plants.
Riiiiiiight. There's a Tui ad if ever I've heard one.
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Speaking of ratbags - just how does it feel to live in New Zealand's worst city for damaging vehicles in car parks?
Well, with all the dings inflicted upon my 4x4 in carparks it doesn't feel very good that's for sure.
A study has shown Tauranga people are spatially bereft and can't quite work out the distance between their opening car door and the parked (non-moving) vehicle in the next parking bay.
It could be something to do with the cretinous parking abilities of many locals, or else they truly don't care about other people and property. Either rings true to me.
Anyway, 70 per cent of drivers have had their cars damaged while shopping.
What is worse is the fact that in Tauranga, an appalling 91 per cent of people don't fess up to the damage and drive off without leaving their details.
Shame, shame, shame.
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And how about this for greed ... Rugby World Cup patrons can expect to pay up to $17 for a glass of wine in restaurants around Eden Park.
A rip off you reckon?
Well, not according to industry chiefs.
Somehow these buffoons think that $17 a glass is fine, because locals pay $15 at some bars and restaurants in the area.
Actually, it just means you are ripping locals off as well, you rats.