Turns out I'm going to be getting an extra $27 a week soon. Yippee!
And no, that's not sarcastic. Sardonic maybe? But not sarcastic. Semantics.
The Government could have given me a coffee mug and I would have been happy. Anything extra is welcomed. Just leave the packages at the door thanks, no signature required.
Honestly? That $27 will probably be going straight into my petrol tank. That's about nine litres of gas. I'm not going to turn my nose up at it, that's for sure.
I may even be able to visit a friend's house across town with that. It won't quite stretch to a trip to Whakatāne to see my family though, unfortunately.
Do I sound bitter? I am, a bit. I am raging at the futility of hoping that maybe, just maybe, some serious changes were going to be announced.
I mean, it was a distant hope. Jacinda Ardern's Government, like John Key's was, is built on a public perception of comfort and stability. They're very different people with very different politics, but both leaders have something in common – a reluctance to rock the boat.
It works. Stability is not something to turn one's nose up at, particularly when we look overseas at some of the other examples of leadership we've seen in recent years and the impact those leaders have had on their countries.
As a whole, we're pulling through the current global craziness okay.
But some of us are suffering worse than ever. I believe there is a root cause for all of New Zealand's major social problems – the country is becoming too expensive to live in for a growing number. It's a spreading disease.
I can't be the only one feeling a slight tingle of uneasiness, a hint that something is not quite right here. That something is breaking.
We're hearing of shootings and ram raids nearly every day. Elderly people are living on couches. Families are living in cars, tents and garages. Businesses can't find enough workers. Children's teeth are rotting. Food and petrol prices are rising, rising, rising.
Mental health needs are growing. Families are becoming more transient, which impacts truancy, community belonging, and access to healthcare. It feels like crime levels are rising, too.
Many of these issues were exacerbated by Covid, but most of them are pre-existing conditions.
The problems are rippling outwards and it's no longer just the bottom rungs feeling the effects.
That $27 a week? Yeah, it's nice. It will help. Cheap buses? Fantastic. Trying to get a handle on whatever's going on with our supermarket sector? Great, bring it on. A fund for not-for-profits to provide rental homes? Heck yes, that's awesome.
But are any of these things actually going to improve poverty levels in our society and therefore stop the ripples from spreading further? I reckon it's like throwing codeine at a cancer patient – it may help ease the pain but the disease is still there, untreated.
I wish I had the answers. I don't. If I knew how to fix our society it would be my face on the election billboards.
Or maybe I'm being unfair. Budget Day is a notoriously difficult day to write about – there's a veritable avalanche of information to sift through and it can take weeks for the finer details to become clear.
Maybe I have missed some utterly lifechanging piece of information and I'll regret having written this column or, at the very least, have egg on my face.
Do you know what, though? That would be an amazing outcome. I can handle a little bit of shame and embarrassment at being wrong, especially about something like this.
Rock that boat, baby. Staying steady isn't working.
• Sonya Bateson is a writer, reader, and crafter raising her family in Tauranga. She is a Millennial who enjoys eating avocado on toast, drinking lattes and defying stereotypes. As a sceptic, she reserves the right to change her mind when presented with new evidence.