A new flag for New Zealand should be the least of our worries, says Richard Moore.
In a country that has so many issues confronting it - poverty, a reliance on unsustainable agriculture, not enough housing and a massive lump of seemingly career beneficiaries dragging everyone else down - it seems to me that a new flag should be the least of New Zealand's worries.
The current emblem has flown over official buildings since 1902, but has been in use since 1869.
Most Kiwis know it has the Union Flag in its canton, symbolising the country's strong ties to Great Britain and its links with countries of the former British empire, and its four white-outlined red stars representing the Southern Cross. It is a good, solid flag that is recognisable on the world stage.
One of the lines put forward by flag changers is that it is too similar to Australia's most excellent emblem.
That does make me smile.
Actually, fair roar with laughter over the stupidity of that belief.
How on Earth can anyone with eyes mistake a flag with four red stars with one that has six white ones - including a whacking great seven-pointed one under the Union Flag?
You are correct. No one with half a brain who can count and isn't colour blind.
I always look carefully at the groups that push for a flag change.
You know the Loony Left will always contain elements who want to see a nation's long-standing symbol removed because - in NZ's case - of the links to what they see as the terrible empire that colonised half the world.
You will also have some indigenous groups who see the current flag as a symbol of oppression, and conquest and the source of all their woes.
Then there are the types who know little of history who want change for change's sake.
My favourite group are those who claim that New Zealand is not seen as independent because there is a Union Flag on its flag.
Seriously guys?
You can actually say that with straight faces?
There would not be one nation around the globe that considers Kiwiland to be anything other than independent from Britain. Whether it is independent from Australia, or America, or China is another matter.
Now what worries me about this current debate over the flag and the push for it is coming from a right-wing Government. It is usually the preserve of those on the left, who don't mind wasting hard-earned (by us) public funds on feel-good projects.
So why are John Key and co happy to spend at least $28 million on two referendums to pick an alternative flag and then put that up against the current champion to see who wins in a second bout.
Like a number of other people, I reckon governments bring up a flag issue or republic debate because they want to divert attention away from other things.
And with economic storm clouds starting to gather around the world again, it makes me a tad nervous.
But having said that I will look forward to the design-the-flag competitions that will no doubt erupt around the nation's classrooms as little kiddiwinkies pull out the crayons to come up with something special in their eyes.
No doubt a large number of them will be better than those created by "artists" who will try to weave all the elements of this diverse country into an emblem that will look like a drunken spider has walked across a kid's wet paint set.
Or else appear as if the creator has vomited colours and symbols into a melange of symbolism that will confuse the heck out of everyone and make the country look like a banana republic.
The most important thing about a flag is that it is worthy of respect and so needs to be tasteful.
So you can throw out at least 99.9 per cent of ideas without even bothering.
The Prime Minister has fortunately changed his mind on using the silver fern on a black background - although its proximity to the Isis flag would get a lot of attention and probably make people sit up and listen to trade proposals.
I think his taste has so far shown he should have nothing to do with picking a design.
Now the people who are going to be coming up with flag versions are "respected New Zealanders". What does that mean? Surely it should be professional graphic artists, not an All Black or two, a political numpty or Mrs Jones-Taffita-Silk for her stirling work in an unheard of field of endeavour?
Anyway, I look forward to the sheer enjoyment of seeing hundreds of thousands of awful variations on the same theme.
They will include (yawn) the silver fern, a portion of the Maori flag, possibly a kiwi (hiding behind the fern mebbe), four red stars and a koru.
More realistic ones would have crossed fishing rods, a rugby ball and a hand outstretched with its palm face up.
Personally, the existing flag looks smart, is classy and reminds all comers to this land that they are entering a country where they can expect the best of British traditions to be upheld.
Long live the Queen.
-Richard@richardmoore.com
Richard Moore is an award-winning Western Bay journalist, photographer and royalist