Monitors often stressful for parents

Baby monitors cause many mothers more stress and anxiety than they are worth, according to several high profile parenting experts.

Australian children's organisations SIDS and Kids Australia and Tresillian Family Care Centres have advised against the use of monitors, unless instructed by a doctor. They said monitors led to parental paranoia.

And leading Western Bay baby experts, whilst stressing the monitors worked in a number of circumstances, said they largely agreed.

Katikati post-natal consultant Vicki Kirkland, known as "the baby whisperer", said she was seeing lots of parents whose anxiety levels had been raised by their use.

"There is definitely a place for monitors for those with premature babies, health issues or with mothers who have lost a baby before to cot death.

"In those types of circumstances they can reduce stress for the parent and that's obviously a positive. But I am seeing so many mothers with extreme anxiety issues related to the use of monitors."

Ms Kirkland, who helped people cope with the stresses of parenthood, said up to 80 per cent of the mothers she saw used, or had used, monitors.

"I am working with a lot of mums who want to come off the monitors, they are running in 10, 20, 30 times a day to the baby, it creates a lot of stress.

"They become highly sensitive to every little squeak and this disrupts the sleep of the mother, who is up and down, and also the child.

"It's not good training for the child because they become conditioned to the fact that they only have to make a small noise and their mother will come running.

"As the baby gets older, say six-to-seven months, we do encourage them to reduce the use of the monitors."

A midwife at the Bay Midwifery Centre, Zoe Lo-Giacco, said she was in favour of more traditional forms of parenting.

"I certainly wouldn't recommend monitors other than in a specific situations such as when there was a family history of SIDS (cot death), or they had suffered a previous trauma or the baby was premature.

"Otherwise you are bringing technology into a completely normal situation and creating fear and anxiety in the parents. The parents are likely to be tired in any case and monitors can often add to that lack of sleep. What happens to our parenting skills if we leave everything to technology?"

Some experts had linked the prevalence of sleep disorders today to new technology. They said it was similar to the baby having a mobile phone next to their ear all night.

Tresillian Family Care Centres and SIDS and Kids Australia advised babies should sleep in the parents' room, in a separate bed, for the first six-to-twelve months. They said parents should respond to the baby's cues rather than technology.

However, Tauranga mother Rebecca Mackenzie said she had seen the benefits of monitors both personally, in the parenting of her 11-month-old son Daniel, and among her friends.

"I had a friend who had two premature babies. He had the breathing and heart monitors and they saved his children's lives on three occasions," she said.

"When Daniel first learned to roll over and he couldn't roll back he got into trouble a number of times. We would never have heard his muffled cries if it hadn't been for the monitor. That happened at night as well, Daniel was in the room only 10 steps away and he had rolled onto his front and was having difficulty breathing. We wouldn't have known but for the monitor. The reality of what could have happened is just horrifying."

Mrs Mackenzie, of Bethlehem, said she was certainly not an anxious mother.

"I haven't found any anxiety issues, actually I sleep well every night knowing the monitor is on. We just think of it as a second line of defence. Anxiety often comes down to whether you have a strategy around sleep time. Sleep time is a stressful time anyway and if you don't have a strategy it's not going to matter very much whether you use a monitor or not."

Mrs Mackenzie did warn against the combination of monitors and non technologically-minded grandparents.

"Daniel was about three weeks old and my mum was over. I was very tired and trying to get some sleep when the breathing monitor's alarm went off. It's a really high-pitched sound and I leapt off the bed thinking 'my baby's dead', thoughts racing through my head about CPR and calling 111. But mum, who didn't know anything about the monitor, had just picked Daniel up and carried him off triggering the alarm."

Child psychotherapist Augustina Driessen said if baby monitors took away anxiety over issues such as cot death for parents, they were worthwhile.

"If something did happen and the parents felt they had listened to the experts rather than their instincts, they would never forgive themselves.

"It's about balance. What we recommend is that if you hear the child crying then it is best to allow them to self-settle but if they are still crying after 5-10 minutes then you should go into them. I don't think experts should be telling parents that they should not be using baby monitors. It's up to the individual."

National child and family support service provider Plunket said the issue was one of personal choice.

Plunket Clinical Advisor Allison Jamieson said: "As with many products available to parents, there are pros and cons with the use of baby monitors; many parents find them useful and reassuring. However no one size fits all and parents make choices every day about how they care for their baby. Plunket supports families and whanau to make decisions about safe parenting based on what works best for them in their own particular circumstances."