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Home / Bay of Plenty Times

KAPAI: Boxing on and pondering life's biggest questions

Bay of Plenty Times
25 Dec, 2005 08:30 PM4 mins to read

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There really are some clever buggers around when you need some answers and I found this out yesterday when I asked my mate what Boxing Day was all about.
Up until then I thought it was all about emptying out the mailbox, filling up the icebox, forgetting about the year of
hard knocks and swimming in your jocks ... But not so!
My mate, whom I asked, didn't know the answer so asked his mate who texted his mate who phoned his dad down in Wellington who really was a clever bugger and he told my mate who texted his mate back who told me. Talk about a kumara vine of divine wisdom or what? No wonder the Maori Party did so well.
Anyways Boxing Day used to be the day that presents were opened, not Christmas Day, because Christmas Day was my mate Jesus' birthday and all those boxes of gifts that those three wise fullas brought were opened on Boxing Day.
Makes perfect sense to me. I guess they didn't have the Warewhare open for 24 hours back in those days huh and there were no Tauranga Taxis or Hopper buses for the wise fullas to catch. Just jandals and a whole lot of walking.
So they needed the rest of the day off before they turned around and walked all the way back home.
Imagine the angst of waiting and wishing and wondering what was inside the boxes back in those days. I guess there will always be more questions than answers in life and I have a few of my own that some other clever bugger may help me answer. For instance:
Who stole my Mum's cow?
Has anyone seen Erin's rainbow lorikeet called Peggy missing from Maxwell's Rd?
Why do All Blacks whisper behind their hands when they plan their moves, can the other team lip-read?
Will the Wallabies ever waltz with Matilda again or has their billy boiled dry?
Will George keep beating around the Bush or give Baghdad the boot?
Will Winston ever win again?
Is Reg Turner Zane Grey reincarnated?
Who did let the dogs out and how much are they in the window?
Will the Weld endowed Mayor and the mono testicled MP share their toys with Tauranga?
What is Priority One's priority, bottom line, bottomed out or bottoms up?
Can HiCane be as bad as other banned sprays?
When will Peter Jackson's private plane fly up to Tauranga to pick up my Oscar winning film script?
Will Narnia and King Kong have children and if so what will the sequel be called, Gorillas on the piss, or The Lion, the Bitch and their wardrobe weirdo's?
Has KFC really got a family pack called the Flu Fighters with Tami Sauce?
Will the 20,000-year-old footprints recently discovered in New South Whales give the Australian Aboriginals any chance of being back in charge of a country they looked after in perfect harmony with nature for all those years _ or will the convicts and all the other sons on beaches keep fighting each other for what was never theirs in the first place?
Will the private pools at Fernland Spa continue to be the clandestine meeting spot for bimbos in beemers and coppers in commodores?
Will Waitangi raupatu settlements make or break Tauranga Moana Maori?
When will grass roots rugby clubs get support from the BOPRFU and can the Steamers stoke up the boilers and bring it on back for their bay supporters?
Should HoriBop stand for mayor?
Should the mayors stand for boy racers? Who pays for their petrol?
Are there two better books by Tauranga authors than Paul Bennett's Walking with the Taniwha and Jude Simpson's Lost & Found? And how do they get them to the eyes and hearts of those so desperately in need of their message?
Why do fools falls in love and who said if you can't be with the one you love, then love the one your with? I dunno, maybe you do or perhaps the answers are just blowing in the wind.
And will there ever be peace on earth? That's the biggy for me and most of my mates. I believe so, because the guy that made this planet is a mate of mine and from the day he showed up out at Bethlehem, and all the fairy lights shone brightly down Moffatt Rd for the wise fullas to bring their boxes of presents to the right letterbox, was the day that he told them then and he is telling us now, My peace I bring to you.
And it was his mate John Lennon that also asked us to "Give peace a chance"
Pai marire (peace) to you and your whanau.

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