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Home / Bay of Plenty Times / Opinion

Dawn Picken: Reimagining parenthood and life thanks to a tennis great

By Dawn Picken
Weekend and opinion writer·Bay of Plenty Times·
19 Aug, 2022 10:00 PM5 mins to read

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It's Serena's message about juggling parenthood and a demanding job that have made an impression on many people, including me, writes Dawn Picken. Photo / AP

It's Serena's message about juggling parenthood and a demanding job that have made an impression on many people, including me, writes Dawn Picken. Photo / AP

Opinion by Dawn Picken
Dawn is a weekend and opinion writer for the Bay of Plenty Times
Learn more

OPINION

One of the most celebrated and accomplished athletes of all time has stirred controversy while announcing she'll retire from the sport at the end of the month.

In case you missed it, Serena Williams, who has won 23 Grand Slam singles titles, said she would leave the game after
the US Open.

Williams and her sister, Venus Williams, sparked a new level of worldwide interest in tennis while making life better for other people on and off the court. They pushed for equal pay and supported people of colour while navigating a fiercely-competitive arena that has traditionally been lily-white.

New York Times writer Kurt Streeter said Serena was unbound by tradition.

"She defied the status quo and played with a mix of consistent, poleaxing power and touch at the net, energised by a serve for the ages and a boxer's steely will.

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"Only the elite of the elite can change the way their sport is played. Think of Stephen Curry's influence over modern basketball and its fixation with outside shooting. Or Tiger Woods' revolutionary impact on golf. Add Williams to the mix."

The fact that two girls from humble beginnings in Compton, California, would come to dominate tennis at the highest level for years is remarkable.

Experts estimate Serena will retire with record earnings. She earned $450 million from prize money and sponsorships, 40 per cent more than any other female athlete ever.

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More than money, though, it's Serena's message about juggling parenthood and a demanding job that has made an impression on many people, including me.

Serena said she wants to grow her family and evolve as a fashion maker, venture capitalist and much more. She announced her retirement in an interview in Vogue magazine:

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"Believe me, I never wanted to have to choose between tennis and a family. I don't think it's fair. If I were a guy, I wouldn't be writing this because I'd be out there playing and winning while my wife was doing the physical labour of expanding our family. Maybe I'd be more of a Tom Brady if I had that opportunity."

Some sports websites claimed she 'took a dig' at NFL quarterback Tom Brady.

One commentator said Serena using Brady as an example to highlight the difference between being a male and a female athlete in their 40s was ill-advised.

Rather than view Serena's words as misguided, why not see them as a call to reimagine motherhood as transformational rather than limiting?

In navigating the nuances of her decision, the tennis great invites us to consider the constraints and possibilities of parenthood.

We need to encourage and expect that men will take as much parental leave as women, that any parent will step up to care for a sick child, that any parent can follow their career aspirations because they have back-up from a partner, and/or from family, friends and their community.

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Serena wrote, "A lot of people don't realise that I was two months pregnant when I won the Australian Open in 2017. But I'm turning 41 this month, and something's got to give."

When that something gives, who makes the sacrifice? Men? Women? Do they split home and childcare 50/50, 80/20, or a percentage in between?

If he chooses parenthood, I want my son to have choices about working and staying home to raise a child.

He could follow in his late father's footsteps and become the primary caregiver for the first few years, changing nappies, feeding babies and toddlers, and getting into the sandpit to play. More opportunities for women mean more opportunities for their partners, too.

We typically hear men say they're taking a break for the family following a health issue or scandal. Women taking time off for family is a given; no special circumstance required.

How many All Blacks get asked who is looking after their children? Even in today's diverse, rainbow world, we make assumptions about gender roles and division of labour. We applaud men such as Black Caps bowler Trent Boult, whom New Zealand Cricket agreed to release from his central contract in a move reported as a "shock announcement".

What is the shock? That Boult is bowing out of fulltime cricket, or that as a man, he's leaving a demanding job that requires international travel to spend more time at home with his young family?

You don't have to be a tennis fan to appreciate Serena's legendary career or her difficult decision to transition to a new life off the tournament circuit.

I hope her words will help change the way we think about parenting and about reinventing ourselves.

Serena quoted her sister Venus, saying, "When someone out there says you can't do something, it is because they can't do it. But I did do it. And so can you."

Dawn Picken has written for NZME since 2014 after a career in television news and marketing in the United States. Picken teaches in the business department of Toi Ohomai, where she shares stories of leadership and change.
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