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Home / Bay of Plenty Times

Church weddings `only for believers'

Bay of Plenty Times
1 Dec, 2006 10:05 PM3 mins to read

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By Carly Udy
Western Bay churches are warning they will refuse to marry couples wanting a traditional church wedding if they don't believe in God.
With the introduction of civil unions, some church leaders say getting married in a church should only be available to the "Christian and spiritual".
Vicar Brian Hamilton, at
Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Tauranga, said with the now 21-month-old civil union law and a growing number of marriage celebrants, churches felt a right to question the religious beliefs of couples that wanted to marry in a church.
"We offer something that is specific - a Christian, spiritual service.
"If you don't want that, then why would you get married in a church?
"If a couple are not Christians and not interested in God, we do have to challenge them," he said.
"When I was first ordained 30 years ago, you had two choices. Either get married in a church or a registry office - and the church was a better place than the registry office."
Couples who expressed an interest in getting married at Holy Trinity church were asked about their beliefs and were required to undergo pre-marriage counselling.
Rev Hamilton said at least one partner had to believe in God for a vicar to accept the responsibility of marrying them.
If they allowed the wedding to go ahead without the couple believing in God, it would be a denial of their own traditions, he said.
Rev Hamilton said up until a recent law change by the general synod, either the bride or the groom had to be baptised to be married in an Anglican Church.

The Catholic Church has some of the strictest rules for marriage.
Father Michael O'Donnell at St Joseph Catholic Church in Te Puna, said either the bride or groom had to be Catholic to marry in a Catholic Church.
If a Catholic wished to marry a non-Catholic they may be granted dispensation.
A dispensation could also be granted if a Catholic wanted to marry in a venue other than a Catholic Church. He said two non-Catholics were often encouraged to marry in a registry office and to come back to the church at a later date to get a "blessing".
He said before all marriages took place, couples were "strongly encouraged" to undergo a marriage preparation course and the church requested a "paper trail" which showed a person's baptism certificate and their marriage record.

At Welcome Bay Baptist Church, pastor Dave Sales said anyone who did not wish to be married under the Christian principle and practice would be encouraged to go elsewhere.
When an engaged couple approached him, he always asked why they had specifically chosen Welcome Bay Baptist Church and said a six-week marriage counselling programme was a prerequisite at his church.
One couple had refused the counselling and as a result were not married in the church. "We all need a bit of help and the divorce rate indicates problems in society, so if we can provide some skills to help them along the way ... "
Mike Cullen, pastor at Abundant Life Community Church in Judea, said it was important that those marrying in his church had some affiliation with it.
Mr Cullen offers a marriage preparation programme, which he saw as invaluable. "They show up issues that people need to address ... Marriage is supposed to be long lasting."
Churches said they did not discriminate against couples already living together and with children, who wanted to marry in a church.

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