Bashed over the grocery bill

Tauranga Women's Refuge is being pushed to its limits with excessive demand as financial strain in households gives way to physical, emotional and psychological abuse.
Maree Saunders, Tauranga Women's Refuge advocate and social worker, said some women were copping a split lip, black eye and vicious tongue-lashing from their partners as punishment for coming home with a high grocery bill.
``[Generally speaking] men won't go to the supermarket, so they're oblivious to the rise in costs. Therefore it becomes the women's fault when there's no money for booze or drugs,' she said.
In one incident attended by police last weekend, a couple fought over $2.
Some families were choosing whether to pay rent or eat, she said.
Women were cutting back on groceries as much as they could, which in turn resulted in hungry, grumpy children _ another catalyst for violence.
Last weekend Ms Saunders was called out four times to emergency domestic situations, and the shelter had been full on the weekends for the past few weeks.
She said violence was impacted by the weather. When it was cold or raining ``it is likely to get worse because they can't afford to do anything [in the way of activities].'
Some families hadn't been able to afford petrol to take children to school. Others were heating their house by opening the oven door and turning the stove to high.
Ms Saunders said most Tauranga residents had no idea of the level of poverty that existed in their own backyard.
The surge of violence goes against the trend for this time of year. Things were usually quiet due to the productive kiwifruit season but hard economic times meant that lull had not happened, she said.
Cary Hayward, national practice manager for Relationship Services Whakawhanaungatanga in Wellington, said money was just one of a number of reasons couples argued.
``I think it's important to remember that a lot of couples fall under hardship and that does not mean that they resort to hitting each other. Violence is not a way of addressing issues of financial hardship,' she said.
Donna Poynton, counsellor and domestic violence facilitator for Tauranga's Relationship Services office, said lower socio-economic couples and families often experienced economic pressure. ``We can't minimise the effect and impact that rising fuel, food and electricity prices is having on people who are already struggling on benefits and low incomes. These are all basic essentials for families and if this continues it will increase the stress on families.'
Tauranga police family violence co-ordinator Detective Sergeant Jason Perry said last Sunday police were called to a house in Windermere where a couple _ who were drinking _ were fighting over $2.
Mr Perry said police relied on neighbours or family friends who noticed signs of family abuse to report it. Taking such a step could save a life.
Police were also not above arresting children for violence either, he said.
Janice Hyde, service manager for Family Works Northern in Mount Maunganui, said on the flip side, tough times often brought out the best in couples because it united them.
The ``It's not OK' advertisements, which started on television last September, are part of a four-year, $14 million government effort to make family violence as unacceptable socially as smoking or drink-driving. Agencies said inquiries had increased since the campaign began.