Talking, not banning, key to online safety

Banning children from social networking sites like Facebook is not the way to keep them safe, online experts say.
Parents are being warned to communicate with their children about their online connections to protect them from being duped by fraudsters.
The warning comes after an Auckland woman was identified as assuming multiple false online personalities to form internet relationships with teenagers.
The woman took photos from Facebook pages of genuine people and posted them on her fake pages, forming internet relationships with dozens of teenage boys and men.
NetSafe operations manager Lee Chisholm said it was easy for people to create false identities online but forbidding teens from using social networking sites could be counter-productive as it forced them to conduct activities in secret. "I think banning it is a great way to have kids do it anyway.
"There are so many places they can access the internet - on smart phones and games consoles, as well as off computers at internet cafes or libraries, or at a friend's place.
"Banning is probably not what we would suggest. The most important thing is that parents talk to their kids about the sorts of things they come across on sites like this."
According to Facebook rules, children must be 13 to start an account, an age Netsafe agreed was appropriate.
But Ms Chisholm said younger children were using the site in New Zealand, some with parental supervision.
The upside was that younger children were more likely to talk to their parents about their online activity, she said.
A Western Bay primary school principal told the Bay of Plenty Times Weekend a survey of students had found several as young as 7 had their own Facebook pages.
Parents set them up for children to keep in touch with family living in other cities or overseas, the principal said.
To protect your children, Ms Chisholm advised teaching them how to customise the privacy settings on websites to protect them from strangers accessing their information or photos.
And teens should never accept a friend request from strangers.
"Certainly there are young people who will accept people as friends who they don't know, or who say 'I'm a friend of a friend'," she said.
"That's why it's so important to look at privacy settings and talk with young people about who they accept as a friend.
"Listen to your instincts. If someone starts asking you questions about something more personal than you want to answer, you don't have to [answer]."
Otumoetai College principal Dave Randell said the recent case was a reminder of why Facebook users should not accept friend requests from people they did not know in real life.
The concept of people creating fake personalities to befriend teens was "scary", he said.
"You can hide behind that so easily. It worries me, it's very hard to detect."
Mr Randell urged parents to supervise their kids' use of social networking sites.
"Be proactive. Have a conversation with them about what they are doing, ask them if they can show you or if you can help.
"If the kid says 'no, you are not reading this stuff', it's got to ring alarm bells. I say to my parents, please check out what your kids are doing.
"It's not that you don't trust them. It's a matter of being a reasonable parent saying 'I'm concerned about your welfare'."
Mr Randell said although Facebook was blocked from school computers, issues around its use arose at school.
"Things like one of the younger girls making derogatory comments about another, false information being spread or a photo at a party.
"There's a fair bit still going around."
Mr Randell said students were told to take action if something untoward happened online.
"If you don't, it's like bullying. In a way you are condoning it. It's not on."
Staff were advised to be cautious in their interactions with students on Facebook, even if it was about schoolwork.
"You have to be extremely careful what you say. Things can be interpreted all sorts of ways."
Tauranga child psychotherapist Augustina Driessen has previously told this newspaper that she believed children under 15 should not be allowed to use social networking sites without parental supervision.
Facebook could be dangerous, she said, if it was used without guidance.
The natural curiosity of children meant they were liable to open messages from people they did not know, which could lead to "all kinds of situations".