Robert Webb reckons there needs to be a campaign about drinking and flying targeted at wood pigeons.
It sounds ridiculous, but there are currently nine birds detoxing at Whangārei's Native Bird Recovery Centre because they've gorged themselves on guava berries, ended up sloshed, and decided to fly.
"They're that drunk they think 'I'll take a short cut home' and crash into the window and end up on the deck."
Webb said it was not uncommon for kūkupa to end up needing some rest and recovery after too much booze at this time of the year - the guava season is ripe, and the wood pigeons can't resist.
"We've still got fine weather. If we had colder weather around it would be all right. What they do is gorge themselves on the berries and they fill up their crop.
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"Then they sit there and rest. Well, the warmth of their body and the warmth of the day starts that fermenting and it turns into alcohol and of course they get absolutely drunk."
Webb said that meant members of the public often found the birds lying on the ground after hitting windows, and brought them into the centre to recover.
A total of 14 had been brought into the centre in the past two weeks.
"We've got to detox them. We give them fresh food and plenty of water and medication.
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"We had one the other day that came in and he was absolutely paralytic, he'd been on the deck all day in the warmth. He was starting to sober [up] but he couldn't walk properly so they brought him into me, here.
"The next morning I went and got him out of bed and he was looking around the room to say 'where the hell am I?' You can imagine him going home and his Mrs saying 'I sent you down the road to get some fish and chips for the kids and you've been out on the booze,'" he said.
Webb said perhaps there needed to be a safety programme targeted at the birds.
"Flying and drinking is just not on. Maybe we're not producing the ads in a way that they can read," he said.
But all jokes aside, Webb said there was an important message for the public.
"If they see a wood pigeon on the ground, please don't leave it there thinking it's going to fly away. Either secure the bird in a box and contact us or drop it off at the centre.
"I'd rather have a bird in here and the next morning it's ready to take back home and let go again, than one be on the ground overnight," he said.