The birth of your first child is an unforgettable time.
Mainly because it is the time you realise that there is now an extra day dedicated to you, like a bonus birthday.
Father's Day. What was once a day spent wondering if the herb chopper you bought your dad was appropriate or if you should have just gone with the Lotto ticket and the novelty "world's greatest Farter . . . oops Father!" cup, is now a glorious day just for you!
A day of extra gifts and cards is now on your yearly calendar.
Sure, some of those gifts will be rocks hand-painted by a little one, and possibly a sculpture made from a pinecone, twine and a cut-up icecream container all stuck together with too much PVA.
But if you do a good job of Mother's Day, there's a chance a nice jumper or a $40 Hunting and Fishing voucher might come your way.
It's also sometimes a day you get to see what your children really think of you.
Take this year's card from my 6-year-old as an example.
It contained a lovely short story about her Dad: "He likes to read the newspaper in his spare time. He has a beard. He snores a lot at night."
When it's all said and done, and my time on Earth is through, that's what I'll be remembered for: "Here lies Adam Green, read newspapers, had a beard, snored."
The more kids you have, the more gifts you receive, which is the main reason I have gone for three children.
A manageable number, just, but three gifts every Father's Day. Throw in one from Mum and you've got quite the selection.
It's an inevitable fact of Father's Day that you have to spend time with your children, though, which is why I propose a "Throwback to when you were childfree and didn't appreciate it day".
Someone, anyone, takes the kids off your hands for an entire day. You start the day with a clean house, and just sit there, appreciating how there is no one there to mess it up and how quiet and peaceful it is.
Want to put Game of Thrones on at 1pm? No problem, there are no little eyes peeping around the corner. Plus, that block of chocolate is just for you!
Meanwhile I guess I'll wait for the kids to grow up, get jobs, and look forward to them buying me that "Farter's Day" mug!
* Don't miss Adam Green and Sarah van der Kley on The Hits Hawke's Bay from 6am to 9am, Monday to Friday.