"This is what's been missing from my life," realised Bridget McKinley when she appeared in her first Tarnished Frocks and Divas show.
Bridget has loved to dance since she was a child. However, for the last 14 years she has been devoted to her family of five males.
"I am the last person who would have been expected to have four boys. I always wanted four children but was surprised they were all boys," she laughs. "I absolutely adore my family and my testosterone-filled life. But when I danced in the Divas 2015 show it dawned on me how much I loved performing and how wonderful it was to be fulfilling myself rather than all about the boys."
Bridget's husband Dermid and four sons, Hamish, 14, Matt, 12, Finn, 9, and Tommy, 7, had never seen her dance until they attended the show and saw her in a new light.
"They loved it and were all so proud of me," she recalls.
The boys may be sports mad with rugby, cricket, hockey, basketball, surfing, surf life saving and skiing among their interests, but Bridget has ensured they have been exposed to dance and performance experience.
"Matt has the lead part in his school show and Finn and Tommy are both performing at Baycourt this year. Hamish is a drummer in the school band and learns piano."
Bridget's love of dance gelled at an early age. She started ballet at the age of 4 and joined the Prue Gooch School of Dance (now the Dance Education Centre). Bridget performed in shows and competitions around the North Island every year. She gave away other sports to focus on it, did tap and modern jazz as well.
Participation in local and school shows included taking the lead in Bugsy Malone at Otumoetai College, dancing in the Operatic Society's performance of High Society and acting in Repertory Theatre.
After completing college, she was accepted into a Melbourne dance school. However, a vertebrae condition derailed the dance career and Bridget became a teacher, gaining a degree in the process. She taught in Auckland, London and then Melbourne where she became head of sport.
"I've always exercised whether jogging, pilates or RPM cycle class, and I coach sport at school."
Bridget may be thoroughly in touch with her feminine side but she is also an outdoor girl with a resilient core. At age 26 she climbed Huayna Potosi, a 6100 metre Bolivian peak.
"That's higher than Everest Base Camp. I got altitude sickness 100 metres from the top but pushed myself to finish the ascent."
When she was 30 she completed an Outward Bound course at Anakiwa, a gift from her husband who had already experienced it.
"It's life-changing and life-affirming and something we'll encourage the boys to do."
The McKinleys spent their first years of married life in Melbourne where Dermid has business interests. Three of the boys were born there. After 10 years, they returned to make Mount Maunganui home and have lived happily there for nine years.
"Dermid travels back regularly for work which makes co-ordinating a busy, high-energy household even more challenging," says Bridget, commending his support and encouragement when she decided to audition for Tarnished Frocks and Divas.
"I was a bit apprehensive, having not performed for years, now aged over 40 and feeling my identity had been submerged while fulltime parenting. Having the family right behind me and the positive reinforcement from the show director, producers and my fellow divas boosted my confidence."
In the 2015 show, A Tangled Thread, Bridget was one of six "Threadettes" in a role which involved dancing, acting and the rapid shedding of a layer of clothing on stage. "That was nerve-wracking. The timing had to be perfect."
This year she returns, delighted to be accepted as a dancer in the 2017 show, Zoetica, one of a group of 10 performing several quick routines.
"Cole Bockman, our choreographer, is only 20 and he's encouraged us to dance as though we were 20 years younger!"
The dancers spent hours in rehearsal during the school holidays and rehearse every Sunday, then every day in the show's lead up week.
"Every move of every dance becomes so ingrained that by show time we can focus on enjoying the exhilaration of performing for an audience," she says.
Having spent years in an all-male household where the boys' friends tend to gather, Bridget is loving the very female focus of a show performed solely by women over the age of 40. "It is a very mutually supportive environment and I've made wonderful friendships, which have lasted way beyond the season of the show."
It's a big commitment for a mum of four. "My husband is amazing and he relishes his time alone with the boys while I am rehearsing. This year there will be a bit more juggling as Dermid has to be in Germany for work during the show's season. The boys wouldn't miss it for the world though. I've already booked them in for the matinee."
She feels they enjoy a mum who is happy to kick a ball with them but not afraid to show her femininity, on the stage and off. "It's a wonderful thing to be told by your youngest son that you look beautiful!"
*Tarnished Frocks and Divas, Zoetica, ASB Arena August 30 to September 3. Book at eventfinda.