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I am going to begin by quoting from Mike Fitzgibbon, a first class Canterbury referee from 30 or so years ago.
"It is not difficult to decide whether a game of rugby has been successfully conducted. I don't refer to the 'scored' result of a game but rather to the 'feeling' that anyone - player, coach, referee, spectator - experience when taking part or observing a game.
"You all know what he means, and there is just one word for it. Attitude.
"The attitude of the teams towards each other. The attitude of the players towards their team mates. The attitude of the coach, the referee, the spectators towards the players and the game. All count, all have a bearing on the success of a match.
"It is difficult, however, to work out how that attitude is finally determined, particularly when it is accepted that no two games are ever alike," Fitzgibbon continued.
"Even if the same two teams played every week against each other on the same ground and in identical weather conditions, each game would be unique. So many variables occur in every game that while similarities might, and do, eventuate, every game will differ widely from each other."
A referee can often tell what a team's attitude is before a match begins.
The questions coaches and captains ask, and particularly the manner in which they ask them, often give a hint of possible upcoming turmoil (or a more reasoned approach).
Similarly, a captain's attitude to the referee and his decision-making can have an effect on the referee's attitude.
Some captains contest almost every decision against their team, sometimes in a belligerent manner.
You can see this in Super Rugby games and unfortunately, some All Blacks are serial offenders.
Watch Ben Smith in the next Highlanders game and you will see what I mean.
Nowhere in the law book does it say that anyone, including captains, have a right to talk to the referee during a game.
In reality, referees are usually happy to explain the reasoning behind their decisions, but they don't have to.
In fact, a new clause in Law 10 - Unfair Play - has been added this season to counter some of the unnecessary pressure by players seeking to "play the referee".
A player must not commit any act that may lead match officials to consider another player was subject to foul play or any other type of infringement committed by an opponent. Sanction for this infringement is a penalty kick.
Newer referees are urged to stick to the basics - whistle, signal what the decision is (scrum, free kick or penalty kick), indicate the jersey number of player(s) involved, and then use a secondary signal to indicate to other players and spectators what the decision is. For example, if a knock-on is observed, the sequence should go whistle, signal a scrum, say "Knock-on red twelve, no advantage, scrum, blue ball", followed by the knock-on signal with the other hand.
Sometimes, the most adverse of weather can actually help the players' attitude towards the game. Everyone, players and referee, are facing the howling wind or the driving rain and this often helps to lighten the atmosphere.
A bit of black humour or friendly banter at these times can defuse a potentially tense game.
I had never thought too much about player attitude, until I refereed my first premier game in Whanganui.
It was a catch-up, end-of-season match played under lights between Kaierau and Wanganui Old Boys.
Kaierau had won the competition so the game had no meaning for their opposition that night.
It also included the All Black Bill Osborne and it became obvious from early on in the game he was the target of some illegal and pretty spiteful play.
I made a real mess of the game as I staggered from dealing with crisis after crisis and was feeling very unhappy about my performance when I spoke to the Old Boys' manager at the aftermatch (he was about the only person willing to talk with me!).
He told me not to get too upset because he heard the players talking about what they intended to do before the match and "nothing you could do was going to stop them".
The one incident I clearly remember was penalising a well-known Old Boys' lock for an illegality and then marching him a total of 30m for continued referee abuse as his captain (also the Whanganui rep captain) pulled him back frantically by the collar saying, "Leave it Pete, he's not going to change his mind".
I might add that sin-binning had not been introduced in those days, and such poor attitudes are rarely seen in local rugby now.
In conclusion, I will quote again, this time from the introduction in the law book, because I think it exemplifies what distinguishes rugby from most other contact sports.
"Rugby builds teamwork, understanding, co-operation and respect for fellow athletes.
"Its cornerstones are, as they have always been, the pleasure of participating, the courage and skill which the game demands, the love of a team sport that enriches the lives of all involved, and the lifelong friendships forged through a shared interest in the game."
-Paul Williams, a Taranaki ref now in the NZRU High Performance group and in his first season refereeing Super Rugby, will be coming to the Wanganui Rugby referees' meeting to talk about "Game Management" at Wednesday's meeting in the Jubilee Room at The Grand at 7pm.
Any aspiring refs, as well as coaches, are welcome to attend.