What do you want for a sendoff?

VIKING: Cremation in a burning boat might have been an option once, but no more. PICTURE / THINKSTOCK

You may not be aware but in April there is a National awareness initiative being promoted by the Funeral Directors Association called "Take the Time To Talk", promoting preplanning funerals.
I know I have already covered a lot of this in the previous article but here are a few interesting observations. Last year fewer than 5 per cent of New Zealanders had preplanned their funerals.
When was the last time you talked with your family about a big event such as your daughter's wedding, your son or grandson's 21st, or your own birthday get together?
Chances are at some stage in the last year you've had a conversation with all the family having their say about what they would like to happen at a family event, so why not do the same thing for your funeral?
Funeral preplanning has been a difficult subject. It shouldn't be. It is an opportunity for family to hear your life stories, share memories, celebrate past events and for younger family members to learn about how your family traditions and cultures developed.
Preplanning allows you to consider and make informed decisions about your final farewell. And remember talking about having a baby has never got anyone pregnant. Talking about a funeral has never killed anyone.
We have all heard someone say, "when I die, just stick me in a box and bury me in the back garden", or words to that effect. Unless your back garden is a registered cemetery, urupa or a marine reserve (registered for sea burials), your final wishes could be compromised without prior resource consent being granted. Although not impossible it tends to be a drawn-out and expensive process and can take several years and comes with many conditions.
Families often find the simplest way to achieve such requests is for the person to be cremated and have their ashes buried or scattered on the farm, garden or in that special place. Under current regulations there are no restrictions on the placement or scattering of ashes as long as you do not cause offence to anyone else in the process. For example, to scatter ashes at the local golf course where Grandad was a member is perfectly OK once the Club has given approval, but to do so while 200 people are playing in the club's annual fundraising tournament in middle of the day could be seen as offensive. A solution we could offer would be to scatter the ashes in a quiet spot at the course in a time and area that suits the club, same result, but with no offence to others.
Another popular idea is that of "donating my body to medical science". Both Auckland and Otago Universities accept deceased for anatomical research, however their criteria for body donation is hugely restrictive. In short, if you die south of the Bombay Hills, or north of mid Canterbury the regulations exclude this option even if you are a permanent resident of those areas.
One of my all-time favourite requests is a burial at sea Viking-style complete with burning boat. This is a yes and no request - yes a sea burial is allowed after application to Maritime New Zealand has been made and approved, then the sea burial can proceed into one of the five registered areas around New Zealand. The closest to Wanganui is 48 kilometres due south of Wellington. I have completed two sea burials and they are an interesting exercise of logistics and can be quite a challenge due to weather.
As for the burning boat, with grandad's body tethered to it, cast out beyond the breakers - I'm sorry to say is a legal no-no!
There are private cemeteries - such as at St John's Matarawa Anglican Church, which have church burial grounds, and permission for burial into the church cemetery is required and has strict guidelines. Likewise with Marae urupa, there are criteria of who can be buried in these cemeteries.
As I stated earlier there are fewer restrictions surrounding cremations or at least the placement of the cremated remains. However the regulations around the cremation itself are very strict. Technically a religious funeral pyre is allowed on application, but again it is a drawn-out and long process requiring resource consent - the time restraints usually mean it is more convenient and less stress on families to use the local crematorium for the cremation.
All in all it's not as easy as just digging a hole or building a bonfire in the back paddock! We can achieve many requests but often need time to achieve your requests. Therefore it comes back to one of the best pieces of advice I can give: Tell someone what you want.... Take time to Talk and plan ahead!
If you would like to ask a question about funeral stuff, feel free to email me at info@clevelandfunerals.co.nz