OPINION: My invisible friend and I wish to say

Hands up those readers who, as a child, had an invisible friend? Hmm. Quite a few of you. Now keep your hand up if you still have an invisible friend? Those of you turning for a quiet aside to someone unseen before moving your hand have been counted.
An invisible companion can be a useful and valuable asset for a child. I referred to mine for all sorts of advice. Although my mother recalls a boundary was crossed when I told her, in a suitably lofty tone, that my invisible friend's mother "would have let me do" whatever it was I had requested.
This whiff of mutiny engineered by someone my mother could not even see was deemed a step too far. My invisible friend was to be told in no uncertain terms that my mother was actually the person who wore the apron of authority in our house.
We tend to move past the invisible friend stage before reaching school age, letting them go without too much concern. They take with them the tales of childhood scrapes and the answers to many of the great mysteries. Who drew in felt tip pen on the wall? Who tipped the milk on to the floor? They also take memories of earnest discussions on the moral and ethical dilemmas associated with eating vegetables.
We may pass on clothes and toys to our younger siblings but we do not offer them a well-used but somewhat faded invisible friend. Perhaps we believe the loyalty of these special companions would not allow them to form an allegiance with someone new.
It is not clear where these imaginary friends go. Do they wander off in search of another child who is looking for an unseen but loyal companion? Do they recognise each other and share tricks of the trade? They are clearly very bright as they have an answer to just about everything. Broad shoulders are necessary as they can carry a big responsibility for the more visible partner in the relationship and must be willing to take the blame for all manner of mischief.
I can see advantages in having an invisible friend as an adult. The ability to confer with an unseen but all-knowing companion could be helpful in many situations. Meetings with your bank manager or accountant could be a lively affair with a third but extremely transparent person in the room. Requesting another chair for them would be a good way to start a discussion about where all your money has gone. At parties where you don't know any of the other guests an imaginary friend can remain sober, thoughtful and charming no matter what those around you are doing. You can dance with them without censure as no one can see the crazy way they bend their knees and shake their head to classic Beatles records.
Taking an imaginary friend to a job interview would be an ideal confidence booster. You would feel supported as you entered the room and confident as you answered the interview questions. Turning to confer with someone they cannot see might raise some tricky questions but depending on the situation this may provide an opportunity to try and convince the interview panel to hire both of you.
This column was written by Terry Sarten with assistance from an invisible word busker. Terry lives in Whanganui and describes himself as a parent, husband, musician, writer and social worker. Email: tgs@inspire.net.nz