For my age, I'm not doing too bad physically. My stomach is rubbish, but then it always was. I started out with helicobacter pylori as a child, graduated to excess acid and reflux and then on to gall stones and Crohn's. Mind you, I've had some wonderful treatment over the years. Memorable wasmy visit to a local surgeon some years ago who diagnosed gall stones and recommended urgent surgery. I left his consulting rooms with a hospital admission appointment and a handful of glossy brochures that explained the process with illustrations. No worries there, a simple procedure, basically little different from a root canal. I'd had one of those, so what's to worry about. It came as a bit of a shock on admittance to hospital to hear the surgeon briefing my nurse with the statement: "In cases of serious surgery such as this the dangers are - ". My response was, "What serious surgery? The brochures you gave me said it was a piece of cake." "Ah, but they were printed in Australia, and you know the spin they put on things over there." Being prepared for the operation in an anteroom my hand was picked up and held by a charming nurse. "Just looking for a suitable vein," was her explanation as she gently stroked my arm. Making eye contact I told her that I thought I was falling in love. Her response was: "You stand no chance. Not without flowers." A year later I was back in the same anteroom being prepared for a gastroscopy and colonoscopy when my hand was again gently taken up by the same nurse. This time I was prepared. "Your flowers are waiting at the reception desk." Her response was a sweet smile as she injected the pre-op with the accompanying comment: "Good night young man." Life can be difficult at times
