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Home / Whanganui Chronicle

Common thread shared by all humans

By Carla Langmead
Wanganui Midweek·
11 Nov, 2015 12:14 AM4 mins to read

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Human relationships are pivotal to our lives.

Human relationships are pivotal to our lives.

This week I'm going to go out on a limb! I guess I'm hoping that there will be some recognition or resonance that transcends logic, culture, or the use of language. I will start my blog with saying that what I believe is unique to our human race is that we are always in a state of development through our whole lifespan; we literally never stop learning something new and are in a constant state of flux and evolution. I'm no expert, nor can I quote on the theories and the stages of the lifespans but what I do understand in my layman's terms is that on some level we all share an invisible common thread by "being human". Anybody who has touched on human development study will have been exposed to this theory/concept and understand that what surrounds that "thread" are our personalities, our genetics, and how we have become products of our environment and all the experiences that go with that. For me that common thread, which is not tangible, is the key to my wellbeing as I sense it's the one thing that connects us all, irrespective. It's deep, it's intrinsic, and it's much bigger than just my physicality, personality, and culture. I'm challenged regularly by how I respond to the world around me, as I'm a sensitive. Where I get hurt the most is by others who intentionally try and hurt or disempower me because of their own needs. Whilst on one level I understand that "hurt people? ... hurt people!" I can never condone anyone trying to overpower another if it's not in self defence! And I guess there lies the argument that any negative reaction will almost always be in response to another's negative reaction whether real or perceived. Whilst I try and keep away from hurtful people, or the "takers" of this world, often they just impose themselves into my life. Depending on the degree of the intrusion will depend on my response and my retaliation. I'm seldom successful in not retaliating in the first instance but if it's not life threatning then eventually I remind myself of that common thread again because in that thinking lies some sort of universal truth that knows more than me! Because the ME personality simply wants to lash out and pay back, but in doing that then I move my position from the victim to the persecutor so that they become the victim, and the cycle can go on and on! Best thing to break the cycle is by staying well away at least until I lose the need to protect myself.
Whether we like it or not, human relationships and all the fears and insecurities that go with them are what's pivotal to our lives. So long as we can keep asking the questions how can we keep developing as human beings in spite of what has presented itself to us? I believe it is one of the simplest and best strategies we can use. Not only do we empower ourselves but in some odd cosmic way it disempowers our persecutors, leaving them to face their own demons. It's kind of like when we learn to change the way we look at things, the things we look at change! In a way I believe we are all addictive to some degree and we seek fulfillment in the belief that it lies outside of us rather than inside. For those who struggle with addiction their belief and needs may well be a lot greater for all sorts of reasons. My theory is not from a medical/clinical perspective, neither anything I have read, but I believe that when we can access this intrinsic thread in ourselves, which binds us all as human beings and connects us to everything else, our need to feel whole relies less on the external and more on the internal. This brings sustainability and freedom. To go deep within to see what intrinsically fulfills us, which can never be at the expense of another, requires some very conscious work and yes there could be some very testing and vulnerable moments of having to face up to some darker home truths but the taste of freedom is worth it. Being human is always work in progress, but for me, if I don't take up that daily challenge then I'm not quite sure why I'm here.
Carla.
¦Www.carlascoachingforhealth.com

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