To fully understand the ensuing phone call, it is only fair I give you some geographical background. The house I reside in is situated on a lane that runs parallel to the street I live on but is separated by a very steep embankment. The lane consists of six houses. It's fully tar sealed, so we're not talking about a dirt or gravel road here.
This lane has been safely negotiated by all manner of vehicles for decades - from your average car to huge furniture removal trucks that have come and gone with shifting residents.
The other rubbish truck still visits weekly to collect their bins and, while there is nowhere to turn unless they make use of a resident's driveway, any decent driver should be able to reverse the short distance with ease.
Now that I've set the scene, here's how my conversation with Waste Management went down.
I rang the number provided by my great Uncle Google and found myself talking to a woman who had clearly been contacted by the other disgruntled residents as she was able to tell me the street numbers of those affected.
I was told that, in future, our rubbish bags and bins would only be collected if they were placed, kerbside, on the upper, almost inaccessible, parallel road.
Naturally, I argued the point and was only offered the explanation that it was too inconvenient for the driver to venture down the lane.
"Listen here, lady," I said, my blood now at boiling point. "I just want to put the rubbish out in front of my house, the same as everyone else, not undertake a weekly mountaineering excursion to Everest."
She suggested I get a bin and attach it to the towbar that, incidentally, I do not have, and drive it to the upper road. I argued for those who may not have a vehicle.
What about my poor elderly neighbour - the one with a serious heart condition? "I suppose you expect him to engage the services of a Sherpa to complete this task."
I got nothing but extreme indifference.
"And what about the last two weeks - we had no warning this was coming. Are we meant to be effing psychic?"
She admitted that their communication had been lacking but refused all other arguments I made. I hung up in disgust.
I'm convinced that this decision has not been authorised by head office. Had it been so, surely we would have received some type of formal notification, warning us of the upcoming change. To this day we have heard nothing and, as far as I'm concerned, until we do they are derelict in their duty - #loadofrubbish.
Perhaps this whole issue is down to some "precious" driver looking to make his own life a little easier.
The switch to bins seems inevitable but at least we have the option to go with the company who are happy to service our lane.
Waste Management should consider changing their name to Rubbish Service ... it sums them up figuratively and literally.
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