I know, I know, it's gets tedious blithering on about the woes, wherefores and outright wackiness of American socio-political culture in the age of Trumpery.

But hot damn, how can you resist a living installation that's worked out how to create a self-sustaining closed circuit system by consuming its own excreta.

This crazy circus may not be around forever - we have to make the most of it while it's here and now.

Similar whack-foolery is breaking out all over the place in plague proportions. It's like, modern medicine has whupped the bubonic plague, but, as we all know, nature abhors a vacuum.


So the buboes - the pustular swellings in the armpit or groin that gave the bubonic plague its name - have been replaced by boobs masquerading as politicians, who similarly often loiter with intent around the armpit and groin areas.

Brexit is crazy, too, though Brexit is more of a loopy-but-benign beast of a Monty Python or Fawlty Towers ilk.

When you see Theresa May trying to push the same motion through the House of Commons for the umpteenth time, or shuttling back and forth to Brussels seeking endless extensions and extenuations, the indelible image of an apoplectic Basil Fawlty flailing his hapless Austin 1100 with a leafy branch instantly springs to mind. Meantime, miscellaneous Ministers of Silly Walks strut their demented stuff every which way around her.

Meanwhile, in the Ukraine a political novice handsomely leads the presidential election preliminaries. His only previous political experience? Playing the lead in a TV comedy about a goofy political novice who successfully runs for president.

But Trump's US of A is now where the real deal toxic and tragically bizarre truly hangs its hat.

We don't even have to talk about Trump. For all we care, he can be down at Mar-a-Lago doing what what he does best - kicking his golf opponents' balls into the rough.

Let's just take his sidekick - Vice-President Mike Pence, who, let's not forget, is just a heartbeat away from being POTUS. (And we thought Dan Quayle was scary!)

Pence recently gave a speech, harking back to the space-race glory days of the American Empire. He was pleased to affirm that American astronauts would soon be once again moonwalking through the lush moonscapes of our friendly neighbourhood satellite.


All domestic issues were the fault of the Democrats anyway, so why waste money trying to fix that stuff. America would be made great again by sinking billions into revisiting where Neil Armstrong and his saddle buddies once roamed free.

He'd seen enough, had Pence, of crafty Chinese space capsules orbiting the dark side of America's moon. American know-how would now put a stop to any nonsense about anyone else being first this century to land on future American golf courses.

"America doesn't do second," thundered Pence in his understated Southern drawlie way.

This was very profound, although Pence didn't elaborate on how China putting astronauts on the moon this century would somehow betoken a whole re-run of the race to the moon.

But the Veep's sweeping claim that America doesn't do second could be a tad extravagant.

He may be in danger of being stood to be corrected here and there.


Weren't they also-rans in Vietnam? I don't think they're in for a podium finish in Afghanistan either.

Gun control? Race relations? Nup, not really gold medal terrain there.

But hang on - how about incarceration rates, inequality, nuclear arsenals, military spending, rapacious consumer consumption, pollution, greenhouse gases, obesity, banking frauds and financial crises?

Oh yeh, outstanding podium-toppers all. Gee, maybe Pence is right - America really truly doesn't do second.