Shave for a Cure: Son surprises mum on cancer journey with shave

Hamiltonian Amanda Shanley (left) was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, and her son Luke shaved his head alongside her in support to help fundraise for a cure. Photo / Malisha Kumar

Hamiltonian Amanda Shanley, 60, never imagined she’d be among the one in eight Kiwis diagnosed with a form of blood cancer every day. But in May, she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. She told her story to the Waikato Herald last week. On Saturday, she participated in Shave for a Cure, but the day had a surprise in store for her.

The self-described “myeloma warrior woman” said goodbye to her long bright red hair last weekend, surrounded by her family and close friends. What she did not know was that her son Luke, 25, had planned to shave his hair alongside her.

Amanda said while she loved her hair, she wanted to shave it off on her terms before the effects of the upcoming “sh***y round of chemotherapy” would “take care of it” for her.

“I’m a bit scared, but the thought of being in hospital in a situation that’s already out of my control and waking up and seeing my hair on the pillow falling out, I thought, ‘No’,” Amanda said.

“Doing it this way is where I have control.”

Amanda Shanley and her daughter Emily on the day of her Shave for a Cure.

On the day, she was surrounded by her family and close friends. She said she was “terrified” but accepted “the journey I’m on now is something I have to live with”.

To her surprise, Amanda wasn’t the only one shaving her hair: Her son Luke claimed the hairdressing seat after her.

Mother and son had talked about shaving their hair off a couple of months ago and Luke said he would do it with her, but Amanda didn’t want him to.

That didn’t stop him, though.

Luke told the Waikato Herald to him, “it was a given” that he would do it: he had recently been on a mental health journey and overcame addiction two years ago, and his mum had always been there for him without a question.

This was his way of giving back to her.

“She’s always been my rock, there for me through thick and thin doing everything she possibly could. Though all my struggles, my mum has been there,” Luke said, visibly emotional.

It took a whole hour before Amanda Shanley could look at her shaved head.

“She’s always been this pure kindred soul, and it doesn’t sit right with me to now watch her go through the biggest bump of her life.”

While her mum was getting her hair cut, Luke said he initially couldn’t look at her because of a “spiral of emotions”, but once he did, he was empowered by her strength.

“I was like, ‘Wow, she just looks so beautiful’. The way I see her already and think of her as this pure soul, and seeing her standing there like that was just so powerful to me,” he said.

“I knew then that for me, it was the right decision to support her and do the same... It’s the least I can do.

“Throughout my journey, I’ve always felt like I’ve never done anything for my parents other than hurt them ... It just felt amazing to do something that I knew they were actually proud of.

“I don’t want her to go through any of this alone.”

When Luke got up to sit in the “barber’s chair” after his mum, Amanda was overcome by emotion.

“What he did was so brave and meant so much to me.”

She said the thought of losing her hair terrified her, but Luke’s support helped her cope.

“I didn’t feel so much on my own.”

She said it took her an hour to be able to look at herself in the mirror. When she did, she wasn’t as upset as she thought she’d be.

Hamiltonian Amanda Shanley (in pink) was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a form of blood cancer, in May, and shaved her head to fundraise for a cure on November 2. Photo / Malisha Kumar

“It was really strange because I had long hair just before, but it was still me just with no hair.

“I thought I would just cry but I actually thought, ‘I’m strong, I’m G.I Jane’,” she said.

“So I put some more lipstick on and went back outside.”

Looking ahead, Amanda said it was about “being in the moment” and going through the journey to “come out on the other side”.

“Live every day like it could be your last.”

If anyone wants to donate to her, they can do so through her fundraising page on the Shave for a Cure website.

Malisha Kumar is a multimedia journalist based in Hamilton. She joined the Waikato Herald in 2023 after working for Radio 1XX in Whakatāne.