Queen Elizabeth death: Personal memories of Our Queen

The last photo of Julia McCarthy-Fox with The Queen, presenting flowers from her Te Awamutu garden in 2019 at West Newton on the Sandringham Estate. Photo / Supplied

Words and images by Julia McCarthy-Fox, of England and now living in Te Awamutu. Julia was a photographer, both amateur and professional at various times, following the royal family throughout the UK and sometimes further. She had met and spoken with Her Majesty and the Duke of Edinburgh on several occasions. We have published her reports and thoughts on a number of royal events in the past two years.

Landing back home in New Zealand early on Tuesday morning last week, I had spent many hours on the flights to reflect on my sudden trip to the UK to say my own farewell to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

Asking myself the questions that I know others will ask me, I have considered the situation and the answers are simple.

Was it worth the many thousands of miles travelling, the nights spent on the streets of London and the total exhaustion that I am feeling now? Absolutely.

Would I do it again? In a heartbeat.

The only two photos, from over 60,000 she has taken of the Queen, that the photographer has ever had in frames in her own home. Photo / Julia McCarthy-Fox

For me, this was something that I had to do. Having followed the Queen and photographed her for over 35 years, I had come to know her on a personal level.

She had known my now-26-year-old son since he was under 3 weeks old and had watched him grow up, and she was familiar with the limited selection of flowers grown in my mum's garden because most of them were presented to her over the years, along with a lot of foliage, which we grew much more successfully.

More than once she challenged us to name everything in the foil-wrapped bunch that she had just been given.

Throughout the world there are many monarchs, and yet, whenever anyone referred simply to the Queen, it was always Our Queen to whom they were referring, and when I moved to New Zealand I was very happy still to have Queen Elizabeth as my Queen here - it was very reassuring to know that, although as a more distant figure, she was still held in high regard by people in my new home too.

Having witnessed first hand the processions etc involved in taking the Queen from her beloved Balmoral Castle where she ended her days, to her final resting place within the grounds of Windsor Castle, I do not think there can be any doubt as to how much the Queen was loved within the UK, with hundreds of thousands of people taking part in some way or another.

The funeral procession itself following the service at Westminster Abbey was beyond anything I had imagined - grander and more spectacular than anything anyone had ever witnessed before, or will ever witness again.

It was something that I will never forget and I was extremely lucky to have been there and been a part of it.

A special image during the procession of Her Majesty from Buckingham Palace to lying in state: The dragonfly has long been associated with the transition between life and death. Photo / Julia McCarthy-Fox

I knew when I moved here that my days of photographing Her Majesty on a regular basis were over, and with the advent of Covid it was really the end of life as she had known it, and she never really had the opportunity to fulfil her final years of public engagements in the way that she should have been able to, so I missed very little.

I have so many memories of events with the Queen that it is impossible to choose a favourite, but I have been thinking of my last encounters, which I obviously did not know were the last, and on reflection they are lovely memories to have.

The last time that I spoke directly with the Queen was in February 2019 at West Newton on the Sandringham Estate, one of my favourite engagements each year.

We had arrived in the UK only two days before, and I had the opportunity to introduce my wife Kathy to her, as well as to present her with flowers that we had picked in our garden in Te Awamutu and carried across the world carefully packed in the suitcase - she was most impressed to hear of their long journey.

I was also very lucky that a friend took a photo of me with the Queen that day because it is my last one of many.

The last photo of Julia McCarthy-Fox with The Queen, presenting flowers from her Te Awamutu garden in 2019 at West Newton on the Sandringham Estate. Photo / Supplied

Later on the trip I attended the Royal Windsor Horse Show, as I had done for many years, taking some lovely informal photos of the Queen enjoying watching her ponies competing, as she did every year.

As lunchtime approached I knew the Queen would be driving herself back to the castle so, knowing this might well be my last visit to the show, I decided to try to get a short video of her driving herself because I didn't have any.

Because this was a strictly private event for the Queen, it was well known that she only ever spoke with her friends and show personnel and that, although there were members of the public everywhere, she carried on as if they were not there at all.

The only "ordinary" person that I know of her having spoken to there in all my years attending was me - on a couple of random occasions and totally unexpectedly.

Wandering across to the roadway that I knew she would take, I had my phone at the ready as I saw the Land Rover approaching, the Queen at the wheel.

There were only about half a dozen people around so I had a clear view for the video, and I started recording as I stood on the grass.

The many faces, and hats, of Her majesty Queen Elizabeth. Photos / Julia McCarthy-Fox

I then became aware that the vehicle was veering slightly off the road in my direction, so I stepped back, not really wanting to be run over at that point, and it continued to drive straight towards me - or so it seemed.

Suddenly, the driver's window lowered and the Queen pulled up alongside me with a cheery "Good Morning - are you having an enjoyable day?" and proceeded to make a comment about my lack of children with me that day before driving off.

My video is not really what I had expected as it suddenly turns into views of the side of the vehicle, the sky and then the inside of my pocket as I hastily shoved it from view when I realised what was happening.

It was very funny, and very typical of Her Majesty to decide to stop and make conversation when you least expected it - another very special memory.

Earlier this year Kathy and I were in the UK during the jubilee celebrations and were lucky enough to have tickets for the gala performance at the Horse Show that was the first official event.

It was a celebration of the Queen's lifelong love of horses and she attended the final performance, which was televised live.

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth at Tweedale on the day in September 2015 that she became our longest-reigning monarch. Photo / Julia McCarthy-Fox

Not having seen her for the longest period since I started following her, I was very much looking forward to this; even though we were going to be sitting a long way away, there is something very special about gala events with the Queen in attendance and this was no different.

The country was already gearing up to celebrate the jubilee, but the Queen had missed several recent events and her presence was by no means guaranteed that night.

As she arrived, driven into the arena in a Land Rover with spotlights lit so she could be seen by everyone, you could feel the love for her all around the arena, and the cheer that went up was enormous - it was a very special moment and I found myself in floods of tears.

She was such a tiny figure, and yet the admiration and affection she inspired from this community was beyond measure - she was one of them and they loved her.

From our seats we could see her enjoying the performance, and as it ended and she was driven right round the arena on her way out, so that we could all see her, I felt that this had been somehow different.

I was suddenly aware this was probably the last time I would see her at an event like this, looking sparkly and beautiful driving past in the darkness - and as she left I found myself in tears again, but feeling that if this were indeed the last time I ever saw my Queen, it would be a beautiful image in my mind, and I was happy.

But it was not the final time that I saw her - that came later, during the jubilee weekend.

I attended all the events in London but, sadly, the Queen was unable to do so, and her appearance on the balcony following Trooping the Colour was disastrous.

But then, on the final day, with thousands of people thronging down The Mall towards Buckingham Palace following the parade, there was a rumour in the crowd that there might be a balcony appearance to finish the day, so we made sure this time we were in a position with a clear view of the balcony, just in case.

Her Majesty and family on the Buckingham Palace balcony during her Platinum Jubilee. Photo / Julia McCarthy-Fox

And a little while later we were rewarded when the famous doors opened and there she was - Our Queen.

The cheering that greeted her must have been heard miles away, and the beaming smile on her face was all we needed to see.

Finally, she was a part of the celebrations, her celebrations, as she should be, and the weekend was complete.

We saw lots of people and lots of events during the jubilee weekend, but to me that smile was all that mattered, it had all been about the Queen and now here she was, and I think I knew then that as I was unlikely ever to see her on the balcony again, I had to savour every moment of this appearance, to drink in the atmosphere and remember it always - and I did. And that was the last time I saw her - what a perfect finale to so many years, and Kathy was by my side to share it.

Although I am sad I will never see my Queen again, I am lucky to have lived in her era, to have seen her, to have met and known her, to have been known by her, and to have attended so many special events alongside her.

I have memories that I will treasure forever.

My final thought on the way home from my farewell trip was that I believe, after a long and happy reign of so many years, having seen the world change so much, Her Majesty carried out her promise to serve right until the end, and that she died peacefully in the place she would have chosen, her much-loved Balmoral.

Farewell to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Photo / Julia McCarthy-Fox

But more importantly than that, she died knowing how much she was loved, respected and appreciated throughout the world.

There is no wishing that she had known, wondering whether she had known, or any question at all - we celebrated her wonderful platinum jubilee earlier this year and we told her.

She knew, and she could leave us in the hands of our new King and Queen, content she had fulfilled her destiny.

There will never be another reign like this. The Queen is dead. Long live the King.