OPINION: The catchphrase of the famously melancholic movie The Sixth Sense was “I see dead people”, but the punchline was, “They don’t know they’re dead.”
So it is that many ex-politicians roam the Earth believing themselves immortally potent on the basis that a few people – often out of mere politeness – still seem to recognise them.
This has always been a feature of politics, as Nasa-grade egos and impregnable hides are fabrics of the craft. But the continuing viability of former United States president Donald Trump, who has survived more brushes with extinction than Road Runner, risks putting new lead into the most broken of pencils.
Far from being downhearted that a court has found him guilty of sexual assault, he now reckons he could personally stop the Ukraine invasion within a day. Optimism, vanity or delusion, it seems to be catching.
New championship contender at leadership loss denial is former British prime minister Liz Truss, who has resolved to sort China out all by herself.
Having lasted six weeks in office, she is more ex-rated than most former leaders. She nearly tanked the British economy by playing chicken with the world’s financial markets, a setback she lightly dismissed as having been temporarily thwarted by leftist enemies of economic growth.
Like Trump’s belief in a rigged US ballot, her conviction that the hedge funds, currency traders and central bankers who flouted her policies were all raving Trots bent on seizing the means of production is unshakable.
And like Trump, she seems convinced she’s still the rightful leader of her country in her own special parallel universe. To prove it she has … gone to Taiwan.
Perhaps this choice of destination could have been worse, but only if it were Moscow. With China hourly recalibrating its expansionism, and the potential for American antagonism with China if Trump is re-elected, any political visit to Taiwan is both reckless and pointless.
Like most democratic politicians, Truss is sincerely concerned about China’s denial of Taiwan’s sovereignty and the growing threat of invasion.
But to have imagined she, arguably the least illustrious listing in the category “ex-prime ministers of Britain”, could personally advance the cause was ludicrously vain.
Former United States speaker Nancy Pelosi – a true political titan, her status burnished after the despicable Capitol Hill invasion that targeted her – went to Taiwan last August, and may have made things worse. That is unless one’s assessment is that China’s immediate firing on Taiwanese sea space and running military operations around it indicated new goodwill.
The Times newspaper has reported an anonymous former ministerial colleague saying, “She [Truss] is a political cockroach, which does at least mean she will survive the nuclear war that she seems intent on starting.”
This is tongue-in-cheek catastrophising, but seriously, what’s next in global diplomacy amateur hour? Now we’ve had Truss in Taiwan, why not Pauline Hanson in Khartoum?
Perhaps Brexit warrior Nigel Farage, currently baying on the fringes of British politics, could come to New Zealand and settle the intractable negotiations between the Crown and Ngāpuhi? Scotty Morrison’s been a bit quiet since losing the Australian prime ministership.
Why wouldn’t he have a crack at peace in the Middle East? And why should ex-politicos have a monopoly on multilateral advancement?
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex probably think themselves ideally placed to bring the US into the trans-Pacific trade partnership. Surely if the Kardashians went mob-handed to Moscow for selfies with Vladimir Putin, the Ukraine invasion could be halted? Diplomacy has never swayed Vlad, but maybe shapewear and contouring might?
Cynicism aside, China’s President Xi Jinping may crack following the Trussian invasion of Taiwan and apologise and affirm its sovereignty.
But probably not before Hanson settles the military feud in Sudan, so let’s be patient.
