Of all the urgent problems you didn’t know you had, this wretched business of English not being an official language in Aotearoa New Zealand was probably one of the least pressing. However, certain parties seem hell-bent on following it through to some sort of internationally embarrassing conclusion, up there with reinstating compulsory smoking and closing universities, so here we are.
Nor are we alone in having to face the horror of an existentially threatened native tongue. Other countries where English is not an official language de jure (by law) include Australia, the United States and the United Kingdom. In these benighted and backward jurisdictions, any official status English has is merely de facto (by usage and common agreement).
Countries in which the mother tongue rejoices in the hallowed blessing of statutory recognition include Pakistan, the Philippines, Singapore, Sudan and a few dozen others. So, what’s the problem?
Much discussion around this, you will have noted, is focused with laser-like brilliance on the fact that te reo Māori does have official status – as does New Zealand sign language, although its inclusion seems to bother people much less.
Despite this, there is copious anecdotal evidence to show that users of English are not generally stigmatised. The use of their language in official ceremonies does not prompt eye rolling or sighing as those present wait for it to be over. Nor are there calls for it to be removed from official documents, signs or business correspondence in the interests of clarity and fairness.
In the wider tradition of our culture, it is acknowledged as the language of Shakespeare and the Bible. And if it was good enough for the Lord Jesus Christ, it should be good enough for anyone else.
When we look back into the history of this country, we find that it is only rarely that children have been shamed into not speaking English or that elder family members have discouraged their young ones from lapsing into the lingo because they feared it would inspire prejudice.
With the exception of my first 12 months or so, I have used English all my life, and although it has never been guaranteed that I will be understood, it’s not been a major impediment. My children were raised to speak it and my wife is fluent.
But without English being given a de jure status, we risk hurting the feelings of a group of people for whom too much privilege will never be enough. But that doesn’t mean they should be ignored. To let the status quo prevail would be to misunderstand how colonisation works.
For non-Māori, suffering from higher incomes, better education, superior health statistics, longer life expectancy and shorter – if any – prison terms, the contempt with which their language is treated is just another burden for them to bear.
Te reo Māori was protected with official status in part because its very existence was under threat. (English, as noted in this space a couple of weeks ago, is a more robust entity, with a proven talent for survival. It is the cockroach of languages.) New Zealand sign language is also protected because the hearing impaired needed it to be able to take part in society; and English needs it because - well, apparently, because its feelings have been hurt.
Perhaps an analogy would help to explain the situation. In the film The Wizard of Oz the character of the Scarecrow has as his personal anthem the song If I Only Had a Brain. The Scarecrow is convinced that he must be very, very stupid as his head is full of straw.
His dilemma is neatly resolved when the Wizard of Oz gives him a certificate to the effect that he has a brain. It’s a cynical manoeuvre on the Wizard’s part. The piece of paper has no direct bearing on the Scarecrow’s intelligence, but it sure does make him feel better.
It is possible that those arguing that there is a need for English to be made an official language to be treated with the seriousness it deserves are labouring under a delusion similar to that held by the Scarecrow.
Unless of course there is another motive behind their distress. But this seems unlikely. Short of deeply embedded racism – or a desire to pander to racists – it is hard to imagine what that motive could be.
In the words of another wizard, Winston Peters: “We are making English an official language of New Zealand. We will continue to fight for common sense ideas and work in the interests of all New Zealanders.”
