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MSG: A pervasive pre-internet meme
“Why in the world does a certain demographic age 57-75 absolutely loathe MSG? Was there some television campaign in the 80s or what?” tweeted RNZ journalist Kirsty Johnston. I remember the signs at takeaway shops declaring “No MSG added”. I knew it was a thing, but never knew exactly why. Fear mongering? “One teaspoon can make your arteries so hard you instantly drop dead, before you have even finished those spicy noodles,” replied psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald. In the 70s we knew very little about China – Chairman Mao and the little red book – courtesy of British TV comedy Mind Your Language where every country outside the Commonwealth was a stereotype. MSG, or monosodium glutamate to her friends, is a chemical compound, which when added to foods, increases the umami, which is also glutamate. The FDA says it’s safe but still the bad rep persists. Yelp reviews of Chinese restaurants tell tales of racing hearts, sleepless nights and tingling limbs from dishes “laden with MSG”. In 1968, The New England Journal of Medicine published a letter from a doctor complaining about radiating pain in his arms, weakness and heart palpitations after eating at Chinese restaurants. He mused that cooking wine, MSG or excessive salt might be to blame. Reader responses poured in with similar complaints, and “Chinese restaurant syndrome” was born. As the late, great Anthony Bourdain said: “You know what causes Chinese restaurant syndrome? Racism.”
Actual *snigger* names
Paul Henry’s career took a dark turn after he laughed at the anglicised interpretation of a surname from another culture, but these real names parents named their newborns, found on @actualnames1 may have been safer for his schoolboy SOH.
Mary Vulvage – New York State Census, 1905
Delicious Bacon – United States Census, 1900
Don Vegan Counter – South Africa, Church of the Province of South Africa, Parish Registers, 1801-2004
Jane F. Bottum Soper – Connecticut Deaths and Burials, 1772-1934
Adora Fartz – United States Census, 1880
Susan Hopeless – Ohio, County Marriages, 1789-2016
Where to find a husband
I already have one – I’ve had him for nearly three years – but if you’re looking for your very own beast of betrothal, check out this advice from the good old days we’re always harking back to.
Spanish trip misunderstanding
An unnamed woman in Spain was immersing herself in the loving embrace of her hotel’s spa pool facility when things got awkward. A couple came in and slipped in opposite her. She kept her eyes closed; she didn’t want small talk. It was a dark immersion pool with moulded seats and the couple started getting really frisky. “I got out and frankly was a bit annoyed so when the (Spanish) spa attendant asked if everything was okay I said, ‘No, there are people having sex in the pool!’ About 10 minutes later I see a man stealth-creeping in there with a mask and a spray gun, looking like a zombie beekeeper. My whinge had been translated as ‘insects in the pool’. Bet the fornicators got a fright.”
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