Eighty-eight years after Disney released its very first animated feature with its very first princess, Snow White gets another moment to shine. This is the studio’s 23rd live-action remake from its classic cartoon catalogue. And like The Lion King and Aladdin, it’s a CGI-heavy do-over we really didn’t need. It’s beholden to the 1937 film but clumsy in its updates to the 19th-century fairy tale. And one that made me wonder: who’s it for?
Honouring the 1937 classic, as Snow White Rachel Zegler (Maria from Spielberg’s West Side Story remake) wears the exact same costume and still sings to birds and animals who don’t talk back. There are seven dwarfs, here played by real-life actors but then masked in CGI make-up to render them hyperbolic and, frankly, a bit creepy. And there’s an insipid prince (Andrew Burnap) who can only save Snow by kissing her while she’s asleep – not a very comfortable concept in 2025.
But even if we accept that the source material can’t or shouldn’t change, surely something must to refashion such a famous story for a new audience?
Alas, despite its heavy-handed messaging about fairness, kindness and being beautiful on the inside – which won’t come as a revelation to even the tiniest 21st-century preschooler – this Snow White presents nothing new and everything recycled.
Zegler sings sweetly and we get all the classic hits, but you can’t help wishing the animals would cheekily talk back and the dwarfs were less weird. Animated into an awkward combination of Tintin, The BFG and Mad Magazine’s Alfred E Neuman, Sleepy, Grumpy, Happy and co deliver some good lines but are so unnerving it made me long for 2019′s horrific Cats.
Meanwhile, theatre actor Burnap – clearly styled like Cary Elwes in The Princess Bride – attempts a feisty bandit who’s really just a pasty fellow with a reedy tenor voice, and a total lack of screen presence. The only time things perk up is when evil queen Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman) belts out an unexpectedly good musical number, complete with dancing chorus of sycophantic servants. She’s not quite Angelina Jolie from Maleficent, but Gadot also gets the best costumes, made from a mass of sea-green mosaic mirrors (get it?) and stained glass.
In the end, though, the story is old-fashioned and boring, and today’s children are used to much more dynamic entertainment. Old-timers simply get an uninspired new version of a beloved childhood tale. I wish I’d been more appreciative of Wicked.
Rating out of five: ★
Snow White, directed by Marc Webb, is in cinemas now.
