NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / New Zealand

Henare O'Keefe's final proposal to wife Pam: Marry me again

By Sahiban Hyde
Hawkes Bay Today·
7 Sep, 2020 02:26 AM3 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Henare and Pam O'Keefe in 2004. Photo/ File

Henare and Pam O'Keefe in 2004. Photo/ File

Hastings District Councillor Henare O'Keefe asked his wife of 48 years Pam to remarry him as she lay in hospital last week.

Pam, known as the "Mother of Flaxmere" who with Henare adopted and raised roughly 200 children in Hastings' most challenged suburb, died on September 5, aged 67.

At an emotional funeral service on Monday, livestreamed by Ascend Global Church in Flaxmere in a bid to allow thousands of mourners to pay respects despite Covid funeral restrictions, Henare sung a song he wrote for Pam 20 years ago.

"She was my precious soulmate, my darling," he said.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Henare O'Keefe paid a tribute to his "darling" wife at her funeral on Monday. Photo / File
Henare O'Keefe paid a tribute to his "darling" wife at her funeral on Monday. Photo / File

"Last week, I proposed to her at the hospital. I dropped down on one knee and asked her if she'd consider remarrying me.

"She said 'and have another 48 years?'. Then she said 'we found happiness, eh'.

"And we did, we did find happiness. We found happiness holding hands, indulging in her favourite past time of retail therapy, sitting in the park, with her mokopuna and children."

Henare said he met Pam when they were both 17 and they got married at 18.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"If she were here she'd say 'enough of the BS. Reach out, love one another, don't sweat the small stuff'," he said.

One by one speakers in the 100-strong group invited got up and described Pam's good heart - a simple person who wanted for nothing, and would quite literally, take the food off her own table to give to those less fortunate.

She was remembered as Henare's soulmate, wife, community champion, and a loving, supportive woman who never put herself first.

Friends were told of the plans for the service at in a video posted by Henare on Facebook on Sunday night.

Pam O'Keefe, pictured in 2004, is considered the mother of Flaxmere for her huge work as a foster mother. Photo / File
Pam O'Keefe, pictured in 2004, is considered the mother of Flaxmere for her huge work as a foster mother. Photo / File

Hawke's Bay Regional Council chairman Rex Graham said he was still in shock, "one minute she's there, and the next minute she's not".

"Pam was really tireless in her care for others," he said.

"She was a simple person who didn't lust after materialistic things. She didn't want wealth, glory, mana.

"She never put herself first, she was completely non-judgemental.

"She was Henare's soulmate, the mother of our marae, the mother of Flaxmere. She will be sorely missed."

Aorangi, Pam's granddaughter took the stage and talked about how much she missed her nan and how she wished she were still here.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"Just know that you will never be forgotten. You were kind, loving supportive, no matter what.

"Even if we all got on her nerves, she'd still love you."

She talked about a surreal conversation she had with Pam.

"She told me that when the time came I was not to forget that her favourite song was In Her Mother's Eyes, and I said 'you're not going to go'."

"I know she's in a better place now, no more pain, no more sickness."

Save

    Share this article

Latest from New Zealand

New Zealand

'Serious-to-critical': Crash shuts SH1 in Northland, delays expected

06 Jul 08:48 AM
Crime

'No bad blood': Inmate apologises for shanking prison officer

06 Jul 08:00 AM
Wellington

'Exercise caution': Investigation into Kiwi's death in elephant attack

06 Jul 06:58 AM

There’s more to Hawai‘i than beaches and buffets – here’s how to see it differently

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from New Zealand

'Serious-to-critical': Crash shuts SH1 in Northland, delays expected

'Serious-to-critical': Crash shuts SH1 in Northland, delays expected

06 Jul 08:48 AM

Emergency services were called to the scene about 7.45pm.

'No bad blood': Inmate apologises for shanking prison officer

'No bad blood': Inmate apologises for shanking prison officer

06 Jul 08:00 AM
'Exercise caution': Investigation into Kiwi's death in elephant attack

'Exercise caution': Investigation into Kiwi's death in elephant attack

06 Jul 06:58 AM
Police respond to assault at pool: One hospitalised, charges laid

Police respond to assault at pool: One hospitalised, charges laid

06 Jul 06:31 AM
From early mornings to easy living
sponsored

From early mornings to easy living

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP