JK in the Bay: Sir John Kirwan says he's found his 'dream job'

Depression and anxiety don't discriminate.

So when Sir John Kirwan spoke to farmers and high school students in Hawke's Bay this week, the message was the same.

The rugby living legend has been travelling around the country with Westpac giving talks about mental health since 2013.

"Mental health doesn't prejudice," he says.

So talks are focused on talking about tools and techniques people can use to manage their mental health.

The primary message: "We all have mental health just like we have physical health, and we need to look after it."

The stigma that remains around mental health being seen as a weakness is why Kirwan created the mental wellness app Mentemia and does his work with Westpac.

It's something he describes as a "dream job" where he can do what he loves in the community. Last year, they saw 22,000 people as part of the tour.

While in Hawke's Bay he spoke at Flaxmere College and Agri & Commercial client functions at the Havelock North Community Centre and Waipukurau Racing Club.

In his Flaxmere talk, where he admitted being nervous about speaking to the teens, he spoke of his own techniques which have included reading, breathing, cognitive behavioural therapy and walking slowly to appreciate life.

Over the years he has been candid about his own experiences with mental health and although he doesn't describe it as something he still struggles with, it is a part of his life which he puts first and foremost.

Stress and anxiety affect everyone, but coming out of Covid-19, mental health has become more prominent with the uncertainty of the future. But he says this is okay, as long as people talk about it.

"I've been struggling coming out of Covid with different anxieties and worries, there's so much more going on in our lives at the moment, so we need to make sure we look after ourselves."

Because of this, Mentemia was made free during the crisis.

"When I was just surviving, the tools and techniques I learned over the last 20 years to keep myself incredibly well so I was thriving, we need in everyday life now. Stress and anxiety is the new norm."

But there has been a positive to the lockdown he says, "we all started asking how we were mentally".

The key messages of the talks don't really differ from audience to audience as everyone is affected by mental health.

For farmers, there are a lot of factors out of their control such as the drought and although he says he doesn't know a lot about farming, he does know how to deal with things out of his control.

"I really sympathise with them. My idea is not to pretend I know their business but just to try and tell them that mental health is okay."

He says talking to young people is key to ensuring the stigma around mental health stops.

Speaking of his own experience, he had his first anxiety attack around age 13 or 14 which at the time he was told was homesickness.

At about 18 or 19 it became more regular and he fell into a depression

"If you hadn't of called it homesickness when I was 13 and you had have said 'this is anxiety and here are the things you can learn to deal with it', would I have fallen off the cliff? Probably not.

"I was hiding my anxiety in a cupboard, whenever I would have an anxiety attack it would leave fear. Whereas I completely control my anxiety now."

He believes the younger generations face different struggles to previous generations.

"I thought I was a generation below my dad but I feel that the kids now are 10 generations from me.

"I don't know the world they live in; they've got expectations which I believe create way more pressure, success looks very different for them to what it was for me.

He spoke of the pressure of social media, deciding on university and career paths and cyber-bullying.

Where to get help:
• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Youth services: (06) 3555 906
• Youthline: 0800 376 633
• Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)
• Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
• CASPER Suicide Prevention
• Lifelink/Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (available 24/7)
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.