(L-R): Te Aroha McIntyre, Hana Munro, Harata Tom, Cynthia Hedger, Arana Munro and Anita Wilson. McIntyre, Tom, Hedger and Wilson- with the support of Hospice Mid-Northland and Te Arai Kāhui Kaumātua rōpu kaumātua Hana and Arana Munro- shared their stories of losing a loved one during the Covid-19 lockdown.
(L-R): Te Aroha McIntyre, Hana Munro, Harata Tom, Cynthia Hedger, Arana Munro and Anita Wilson. McIntyre, Tom, Hedger and Wilson- with the support of Hospice Mid-Northland and Te Arai Kāhui Kaumātua rōpu kaumātua Hana and Arana Munro- shared their stories of losing a loved one during the Covid-19 lockdown.
A study into the impact of Covid-19 lockdowns on end-of-life care and tangihanga [funerals] has led to a call for a National Covid-19 Memorial Day to acknowledge all New Zealanders who died during the pandemic.
Twenty-three whānau (families), including four from Te Hiku [the Far North], have shared their experiences of losing a loved one during Alert Level 3 and 4 lockdowns as part of a national study, Rapua te Mārama.
The study explores whānau experiences of end-of-life care, gaps in palliative care, the interpretation and enactment of health and tangihanga and the ways tikanga [customs] were adapted in the midst of the pandemic.
One of the key findings from the study highlighted the need for a national day to mark the death of all New Zealanders who passed away during that time.
University of Auckland senior research fellow and Te Ārai Palliative Care and End of Life Research Group (School of Nursing) co-director, Dr Tess Moeke-Maxwell (Ngāi Tai/Ngāti Porou), is leading the Rapua Te Mārama study, and said it was time to acknowledge the pain experienced by so many during the pandemic.
“Whānau grief has been exacerbated by an inability to practice traditional tangihanga,” she said.
“We need to host a memorial day because many people are still carrying a lot of mamae [pain] in their hearts.
University of Auckland senior research fellow and Te Ārai Palliative Care and End of Life Research Group (School of Nursing) co-director, Dr Tess Moeke-Maxwell (Ngāi Tai/Ngāti Porou), leads the Rapua Te Mārama study and is calling for a National Covid-19 Memorial Day.
“We commemorate Anzac Day for the lives lost during the war, and now we need something to unite and aid healing for all whānau who lost someone they love.”
Kaikohe resident Anita Wilson was one of the study participants and shared how she’d lost her husband Ben to cancer during the first lockdown.
She said he was initially diagnosed with cancer in 2015, which later spread to his brain and bones.
Wilson said unlike some, when her husband did eventually pass, she was able to draw on the knowledge her parents had shared about how to look after the tupāpaku [body] at home.
“So many people didn’t know what to do, so what they went through was really traumatising and they were so afraid,” Wilson said.
“I think it’s important we share this knowledge with other whānau because while we need tikanga, we also need to start thinking about how we do these things and make allowances for things like Covid-19 in the future.”
Te Aroha McIntyre, also of Kaikohe, shared how her Scottish husband Iain had been a key figure in the community who had served at their local marae for more than 30 years.
She, too, had nursed her husband at home during his final days, and said the inability to hold a tangihanga had changed her mindset about her own end-of-life choices.
“My husband didn’t want to go to hospital so we had to bring in Hospice Mid-Northland, who were absolutely the family you need when going through something like that,” McIntyre said.
“We knew that three of our children couldn’t come home as the international borders were shut, so that was really hard.
“We only had two days for his passing, and I think after going through that, I want to plan my tangi like his.
“While I don’t like talking about money, is it really expensive.”
Unlike the other two women, Cynthia Hedger from Opononi said her husband and soulmate Melvin was one of the first people in the Far North to die in hospital during the first lockdown.
She said one of the most upsetting things was having to choose who would be with him after he passed.
“We were fortunate; our daughter was in the hospital bubble because she worked there,” Hedger said.
“We knew once he went, we wouldn’t be able to see him again, so the really sad part was how my daughter had to come out of her bubble when he died.
“She decided she wanted her brother to be able to see him, because you could only have two people there at that stage.”
Matauri Bay resident Harata Tom spoke to the Northland Age on her behalf of her cousin Kathy Jones, who lost her husband, Eddie, during the lockdown.
She explained how Eddie had also passed away from cancer and was one of many from their community to die during that time.
“Eddie married into my family and would look after everyone at the marae. He was the chef in our kitchen and ran the nursery in the bay,” Tom said.
“It’s so sad to hear the things that happened to others, because it’s happened to my family, too - we lost three people in Matauri Bay during lockdown.”
New Zealand’s Alert Level 3 and 4 lockdowns were some of the strictest in the world, and while helpful in containing the virus, social distancing rules meant many people died alone due to visitor bans in hospitals, hospices and aged residential care facilities.
Moeke-Maxwell, who also lost her newborn mokopuna during Level 4 of the lockdown, said together with the study participants and other whānau, she was calling on the Government to hold an official day of mourning this year.
She envisioned the day could involve a one-hour ceremony with karakia [prayer] and waiata [song], where people could gather to reflect on those who had died and the sacrifices made by everyone.
“There is currently no national bereavement strategy in this country. So, where do families go? What do they do in order to heal from this?” Moeke-Maxwell said.
“Coming together is healing, to acknowledge what has happened is healing, so we need something where we can stand up and say, ‘This was painful, we’ve been through a lot, there has been a lot of suffering and we want to move on’.
“Death during Covid-19 lockdowns made grieving very complex. Many whānau still have their [family members’] ashes at home after nearly three years.
“I would encourage people within local communities to take leadership and organise an event in each region where all families can commemorate their loved person in their own way.”
According to the Ministry of Health, a total of 2502 people have died so far due to Covid-19 attributed deaths since the start of the pandemic.
The total amount of people who died during the lockdown periods, regardless of cause, was not verifiable, however according to Stats NZ, from March 2020 to March 2021, a total of 32,907 deaths were registered in New Zealand.
In response to the call for a national Covid-19 memorial day, Covid-19 Response Minister Dr Ayesha Varrell said: “Throughout the lockdown period the Government acknowledged, and still does, the sacrifices made by family and whānau who helped limit the spread of Covid-19, by meeting the restrictions imposed during lockdown on hospital visits, funerals and tangi.”
With regards to holding a national memorial day, she said “this is not something being actively considered by the Government.”
