As 2016 sprints into infinity, precise enlightenment about what to expect is hard to find.
If we could foresee the future, would we really want to know? Although I suppose worrying what will happen could be more practical than worrying about what won't.
Astrologically, the planet Mercury (ruler of communications, travel and technology) is retrograde from January 5 until January 25, popularly playing havoc with messages, computers and vehicles. Apparently, stuff will go missing and airline schedules will shred in the fierce winds of circumstance; much like business as usual.
Conceivably though Mercury retro could have influenced the mysterious recent flat battery in the ute, the Dick Smith retail chain's receivership, Iran severing diplomatic relations with Saudi Arabia (incidentally shedding light on complex tribal and sectarian divisions within Islam), and global outrage over the latest alleged execution video from the creative film-making department of the Isis propaganda wing. Incidentally, this somehow manages to achieve the kind of maximum audience on a minimum budget the New Zealand Film Commission could only dream of. Although, the most recent example did showcase some unlikely work from the costume department, suggesting these might be the cleanest most colour co-ordinated terrorists on the planet.
The omens behind the collapse of China's stock market and currency, dairy prices dropping again and North Korea's alleged hydrogen bomb test remain obscure. But the good news is the Chinese Year of the Monkey arrives on February 8 and, since monkeys are cheeky, curious, fast-moving, smart, naughty, ingenious, vigilant, unscrupulous and conscience-free, full of bravado, bluff and creative risks, it's unlikely lumbering totalitarian power groups will gather much sway. Indeed, old orders may topple.
Astronomically, on May 9 Mercury transits the sun - visible from parts of Earth as a small black dot. I don't know the astrological implications - but, in the realm of dangerous fantasy, perhaps sudden light will bathe communications in such brilliant clarity that everyone will see through the dark arts of spin, propaganda, jargon, advertising and obfuscation?
January 6 was the biblical feast of epiphany, commemorating the arrival in Bethlehem of three wise men from the east following a star because a Zoroastrian prophecy foretold its appearance heralded the birth of a king. They delivered gifts - the first Christmas presents - and wisely went home another way, thereby avoiding having to report the birth to potentially murderous third parties.
Speculation remains as to what star it was - a comet, a supernova or a conjunction of Jupiter and Venus so close they looked like one grand new heavenly body are among the contenders.
January 6 was also the 12th day of Christmas when superstitious local heathens still believe bad luck will ensue if the decorations are not packed safely back in the box and all traces of tinsel and sand vacuumed from the carpet.
Accordingly, I did have a minor epiphany that the annual despatch of the Christmas tree into the woodshed probably signals an auspicious moment to start cutting down firewood (giving it plenty of time to dry before winter). I think I can fairly safely prophesy the Zen advice - before enlightenment chop wood, after enlightenment chop wood - will remain applicable in the foreseeable.