Wyn Drabble: Being without Sky is the limit

Wyn Drabble.

It was all a result of choosing budget accommodation with a view to keeping holiday expenses down. Bad move!

You see, I drove thousands of kilometres last week and on this particular night I felt I had well earned my cold beers and a couple of hours in front of the cricket. I had the first cold one before turning on the telly and then, shock horror, I discovered that this particular motel did not have Sky.

Of course you might say I could have checked that first but I'm afraid I foolishly assumed that all motels have Sky. To me it's as integral as offering little sachets of execrable coffee and dinky little containers of undrinkable long-life milk.

Imagine my disappointment when I turned on to watch the first ball. All I could get that was worth watching was a shark documentary. And a very good shark documentary it was too. But it wasn't the cricket which I had driven hours to see.

What ensued was my first-ever cricket commentary by text. Mrs D was flying the travel legs while I drove them down on planet Earth. This particular driving leg was a long one so I was overnighting halfway. I alerted her to my crisis and what follows is an accurate transcript of selected parts of the texts we exchanged. You will be able to work out which are mine and which hers.

- Pak 49/2 after 8 overs. Santner, Anderson and McClenaghan bowling. No Boult.

- 67/3 all caught.

- WASP 158.

- Sharks are a group of fish characterised by a cartilaginous skeleton, five to seven gill slits on the sides of the head, and pectoral fins that are not fused to the head. Modern sharks are a sister group to the rays.

- Ball lost in carpark.

- There are fish which swim into the shark's mouth and clean its teeth.

- 130/4. Malik bowled but Afridi in now. What kind fish!

- And the shark never eats them.

- Yay. Afridi caught by Williamson.

- It keeps its mouth open and lets them swim out when finished.

- How nice. Do they carry wee toothbrushes?

- No, they eat the dental debris. A bit like living marine toothpicks.

- Erk!

- Pakistan hitting them everywhere.

- Sharks' teeth are embedded in the gums rather than directly attached to the jaw. They are constantly replaced. Rows of replacement teeth grow in a groove on the inside of the jaw and steadily move forward as if on a conveyor belt. Some sharks can lose 30,000 or more teeth in their lifetime.

- That's very careless! 168/7 final score.

- The documentary covers the sister group, rays, as well as sharks. There are some remarkable similarities between the two.

- Guppy is hitting them halfway to Hastings.

- The guppy is one of the most widely distributed tropical fish in the world and is one of the most popular species for freshwater aquariums. It is a highly adaptable fish and thrives in a variety of conditions-NZ win by 10 wickets. Guptill and Williamson highest T20 partnership ever.

- Batoidea is a superorder of cartilaginous fish commonly known as batoids or rays, but it also includes the skates and sawfishes. Batoidea are known for their ability to hit big sixes but they are not so hot on bowling.

As you can see, this is not the most effective way to receive cricket commentary but the service was appreciated. Sharks punctuated by cricket texts was way better than sharks without any cricket - even with the inclusion of rays! And at least I learned something otherwise it would have been a wasted and even more frustrating stay. I learned that Guppy is one in-form batsman.

- Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker.