Opinion: Confused German attempts to understand 'Snoopy's Christmas'

Snoopy as the World War I flying ace who took on the Red Baron.

Carols are my bread and butter for Christmas. Every single year, my family gets together with the old songbook and a guitar to chant, with little talent, everlasting classics.

While I've long ditched the recorder to accompany the family's many-voiced choir, I can still recite anything from biblical ballads over international hits to popular German singalongs by heart.

Without fail, they all tell stories of love and happiness, conveying the joyous spirit of Christmas.

Having lived here for a few years, I realise Christmas ala Kiwiana is refreshingly different compared to the pompous month-long celebrations in the fatherland that leave you drunken, fat and exhausted.

But when my colleagues encouraged me – the only German in the team – to listen to "Snoopy's Christmas" from start to end, I was in for a surprise.

Admittedly, I had heard the song before. The melody was oddly familiar, yet I had never really paid attention to the lyrics before.

The first seconds of the Kiwi classic alone prompted confusion on my side: "Are there supposed to be bombs and Germans singing?", I asked the others.

Snickering. Sure there were, they said.

The song goes on, and soon enough I realise, the Royal Guardsmen are indeed heralding war tales for Christmas.

I was always told to start off with a compliment, before I go on to the critique, so well done on Snoopy's cheerful chorus – zippy, jolly and, most importantly, catchy.

Moving on to the rest of the song, I have to say, despite the cute 70-year old beagle sitting on his kennel, it's an odd tune to celebrate at Christmas parades.

Rest assured, I'll be first in line when it comes to mocking Germans but that cringy German line in there, perpetuating annoying stereotypes, really gets me.

Ok yes, the clichés are true; most of us have a toenail curling accent, but you really don't have to rub it in our faces.

And then there is the Red Baron. Manfred von Richthofen, the most feared fighter pilot of the German Air Force during World War I.

He reportedly killed 80 people in his short two-year piloting career.

I had never heard of him. Germans tend not to celebrate their war heroes, it somehow doesn't feel right.

But it's good to know, that are Kiwis out there who still commemorate the Germans' feeble war efforts from 100 years ago. Let's just not mention the second attempt.

Please, don't get me wrong here, becoming a Kiwi has made me a better person but I need to share this comfortable truth with you:

The song has had its glory days, and while we all love a bit nostalgia, but "Snoopy's Christmas" is definitely outdated.

Germans have moved on. War is not really on our agenda anymore so you can stop worrying.

If you are after some German Christmas juju, I happily offer recorder lessons or to teach you "Oh Tannenbaum" in the mother tongue.

Merry Christmas everyone.