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Home / Northern Advocate

Northland parents urged to take note of children’s internet activity after increasing online harm

Avneesh Vincent
By Avneesh Vincent
Multimedia Journalist, Northern Advocate·Northern Advocate·
22 Oct, 2023 04:00 PM5 mins to read

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Netsafe's Sean Lyons says with growing online harm, parents must work with their kids to ensure their kids are safe.

Netsafe's Sean Lyons says with growing online harm, parents must work with their kids to ensure their kids are safe.

With more teens surfing the internet than ever before, the growing threat of online harm is real and worrying, says a Netsafe expert.

Northland figures provided by the agency show between April and June this year, about 220 reports of online harm were received by Netsafe, a significant increase from about 155 cases being reported between January and March.

“It’s a big issue that isn’t going to disappear anytime soon,” Netsafe chief online safety officer Sean Lyons said.

Based on the organisation’s past surveys, one in every 10 Kiwis faced some kind of online harm or form of harassment every year.

“Youths are especially susceptible when it comes to cyberbullying and being stalked by online predators,” he said.

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Another online safety expert, Our Kids Online co-founder Rob Cope, shared the same sentiment.

During his recent visit to Whangārei to give a cyber safety presentation for parents, caregivers and teachers at Whangārei Boys’ High School, Cope said the present day was nothing like the ‘70s or ‘80s, when the digital space was non-existent.

“For instance, the concept of bullying was very different.”

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He recalled his wife’s terrifying experience after she experienced in-person bullying due to her race in Scotland years ago.

“But when she went home and was in her room, she was safe. Can we say the same for our children today anymore?”

Cope said what made cyberbullying worse was the fact the offender was virtually hidden and so could be more brazen with their use of harsh words, sometimes without realising what mental health impact that could have on the young victim.

Rob Cope says this is a generation in which parents are giving their kids adult technology, which is messing things up at all levels and needs to stop.
Rob Cope says this is a generation in which parents are giving their kids adult technology, which is messing things up at all levels and needs to stop.

In his experience, the victim’s parents or elders often were completely unaware of the harassment and bullying their children underwent once they were behind closed doors.

Cope, who was also recently featured on the Paddy Gower Has Issues television show, said the other great concern of his were “online predators” who spend all their time hunting on social media and gaming platforms, looking to target vulnerable youths.

“They’ll pretend to be a young person and slowly build a fake trust and relationship with, say, a 14-year-old teen, and then ask for nudes.

“It doesn’t take long before the predator will show their true colours and exploit them for more hardcore and graphic content. It’s called sexploitation, and these predators are aiming for more younger kids, based on my talks with detectives.”

Cope shared his fears about the fact most instances of online harm are not reported.

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University of Auckland clinical psychologist Melanie Woodfield concurred.

She said most kids often experience a sense of isolation, shame or humiliation after they are exploited and so refrain from speaking out to their family or reporting it to the authorities.

Melanie Woodfield says she encourages parents to think about where their child is developmentally, and accordingly engage in healthy discussions about their online engagement.
Melanie Woodfield says she encourages parents to think about where their child is developmentally, and accordingly engage in healthy discussions about their online engagement.

“Young children often have simplistic ideas that some people are good, and some people are bad. It’s confusing and profoundly unsettling if good people do things that are bad. Their trust in others can be undermined. And, understandably, their sense of safety can be shaken.”

Woodfield said parents regularly need to have age-appropriate discussions about kids trusting their instincts and being cautious, especially when they are at a swimming pool changing room or dressing up quickly at someone else’s house.

“I think these discussions need to be ‘little and often’, rather than one big sit-down discussion - after which the parent breathes a sigh of relief and thinks, ‘Whew, that’s done now!’

“Teach your kids the difference between a secret and a surprise. Surprises are often lovely. Secrets might be different. Parents may decide on a family rule of no secrets, even if someone tells you it must be a secret,” Woodfield advised.

Netsafe’s Lyons said there was a provision in Aotearoa law under the Harmful Digital Communications Act which allowed especially young victims to seek redress from online harm.

“We can help the victim or their parents to proceed on it, and accordingly work with law enforcement authorities to mitigate it.”

Detective Sergeant Dan Wright, part of the police’s Online Child Exploitation Across New Zealand (Oceanz) team, said they encouraged parents and schools to openly discuss how young people could safely engage online.

“Police will review complaints of online bullying, which includes sharing intimate images without consent, which can take many forms, and as with all complaints of offending, will consider what action can be taken based on the evidence available.”

Police also advise the following:

  • Supervision is essential - This means knowing what your children are doing online, who they are interacting with and what platforms, apps or games they are using.
  • Having open conversations, often - The most important tip we can give any parent or carer is to start talking to your child about their online activities.
  • Check privacy settings - We recommend parents and carers research and understand app settings, including privacy settings. This could include turning off location settings, setting profiles to private, or turning off chat functions.
  • Be approachable if your child needs help - Coming forward isn’t always easy, and children may feel reluctant to tell you about online issues if they believe they will be punished or have their devices taken away. They must know that it is okay to speak to you or any other trusted adult if something doesn’t feel right.
  • Long-term impact - Offenders will often use tactics such as fear or shame to manipulate young people and make them feel alienated or trapped, like they cannot escape the situation. These situations can be very distressing and can have long impacts, and need to be addressed appropriately. Your child is a victim of online child sexual exploitation, and they need your support.
  • Report suspicious behaviour - Seek help and support and report inappropriate or suspicious behaviour online to the Police or Netsafe.

Avneesh Vincent is the crime and emergency services reporter at the Advocate. He was previously at the Gisborne Herald as the arts and environment reporter and is passionate about covering stories that can make a difference. He joined NZME in July 2023.

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