It turned out our fear that scammers had got the better of us was unfounded. Photo / Getty Images
It turned out our fear that scammers had got the better of us was unfounded. Photo / Getty Images
Some things are just guaranteed to get your heart racing.
It may be watching the ABs score the winning try in the World Cup final or some desirable beauty mouthing something across a crowded bar at you - even if she's just asking where the toilets are - you knowit's going to lift the beat of the old ticker.
It could even be something as simple as seeing your beloved walk up the garden path without any bags from Briscoes for a change. Ahem, I'm sure you know who I mean.
Anyway.
In our case, hearts were sent aflutter this week when scammers texted Mrs P. Or so we thought.
There I was taking medication to prepare for a small procedure that was to follow in a few days. The medication was designed to slow my heart rate and Mrs P, a nurse I'm sure you will recall, was doing her duty and checking that my heart had indeed dropped the required few beats.
After she worked out that it had, and luckily that I also had a heart, we decided to check her heart rate for a giggle.
I began the process and 10 seconds in could tell that my beloved was an oasis of calmness. So calm was she, I swear I could hear soothing elevator music through the stethoscope.
Our heart rates skyrocketed until we realised it was Mrs P's generosity, not scammers, that had alarmed the bank. Photo / Getty Images
Twenty seconds in she got a text message so she checked her phone while I continued.
It transpired the message, purporting to be from her bank, related to an unusual transaction having taken place within her account the previous day.
It has to be said this put Mrs P into something of a spin and, judging by the sudden increase in her heart rate, the news did not go down well.
As I put a reassuring arm around her, naturally our first thought was evil scammers had somehow hacked into her personal account and were now running around spending all her hard-earned cash on new cars and KFC.
I'm sure Mrs P had even taken the thought process a step farther.
The scammers had stolen every last cent of her money. She'd be destitute. I would immediately leave her and run off with some Hollywood starlet (Well. It is my story too). She'd no longer be able to afford shopping at Briscoes. She'd have to resort to washing car windows down at the intersection for a few bob here and there when the lights were red.
Actually, I quite like the thought of that last one. I can see her in a nice pair of denim shorts and a wet T-shirt ... but I digress.
Now I don't know about your bank, but I find mine pretty good. Sure, there's usually a bit of a wait but eventually, they come on the line and sort my latest tech deficiency out for me. I'm pretty easy-going at the best of times, so rarely does the wait get my heart thumping much beyond its normal boogie.
But try that wait on a Sunday morning, after you'd had a message saying there's something wrong with your account and your attempts to open it online to check have been rejected. Naturally, your heart is going to be going like the clappers.
And hers was. I know. I checked it again, just out of interest.
Luckily, the bank came on the line soon and the mystery was solved.
Mrs P had transferred a bit of dosh over to a relative with a different surname, causing the bank's electronic security system to raise an eyebrow and wonder what was going on. Hence the text and security questions lobbed at Mrs P to verify all was above board.
It was actually everything you wanted your bank to do when a mysterious transaction crops up on their screen.
I didn't need to check Mrs P's heartbeat after that. I could feel it had gone down significantly and settled back into its regular routine.
Calmness descended on our humble abode once more and my beloved decided to thank me for my support during the crisis with some of her special muffins.
And as I sat back with a cuppa and a muffin a few hours later, I remembered this coming week we will celebrate a wedding anniversary and if anything, this bank account hiccup and her response had shown me one particular thing I've always loved about this woman.
