Let me explain.
So there we were, in town heading for a shop that shall remain nameless.
As we strolled towards our destination, we encountered two policemen standing and chatting on the footpath. Nothing untoward in that obviously but what happened next was, to say the least, a little off-putting
As we approached, I could see one of the policemen was animatedly explaining some instance or another to his colleague. Arms were flailing about in all directions as the tale continued.
Naturally, I decided the best course of action was to give the pair a reasonably wide berth. Not shop-window hugging you understand but certainly far enough away to avoid a clout from an errant forearm.
Unfortunately, as we ambled past, the story took a new turn and the narrator took a step back and flowed his arms once again.
That’s when I copped a backhander to the side of my head.
To his credit, the listening policeman did not erupt into fits of laughter (as I probably would have if I were in his shoes) but grabbed his mate and yanked him out of my way before any further damage was done.
I have to say they were most apologetic which was appreciated. They even laughed when I said I reckon I’d have a great case for a lawsuit alleging police brutality.
But no damage was done and we were very soon on our way across the road to our retail destination.
That’s when the second instance of spatial awareness, or lack of, occurred.
Now where we live of late it has been a little chilly.
Mrs P is in possession of, shall we say, a slender frame and has been feeling the early winter chills a bit. While she has been able to don multiple layers of sweatshirts and jackets from the 4751 items in her wardrobe, she does not have a decent pair of gloves. Hence the expedition to this particular commercial enterprise
I learned many years ago that my beloved likes to take her time when it comes to shopping. Whereas I am more inclined to race around and grab the first thing that catches my fancy and be back in the car in 15 minutes, Mrs P takes somewhat longer.
She is a browser.
Firstly, we have to check any clearance racks. If there are none we move on to the racks which have discounted prices and if there are none of those it is quite possible we may remove ourselves from that shop entirely and go have a look at the nearest op shop.
On this occasion, we were in luck.
Not only were there some gloves in the clearance section, they also had a further 15 per cent off sticker and, most importantly, were the right colour.
Once I had amazed Mrs P with my mathematical genius (ahem) and worked out what 15 per cent off the marked price was, we scooped up the gloves in question and headed for the counter.
Actually, we didn’t go straight to the counter.
Mrs P wanted to leave the discounted gloves and return later if needed after we’d had a look at the op shop down the road.
Seeing as we had been out for almost two hours on this particular exhibition and we had only planned to be half-an-hour I put my foot down - sometimes I am allowed - and said she had to buy them.
Naturally, there was token resistance but I think she saw it was a good deal and she didn’t put too much of a big fight up.
So, as I say, we eventually head for the counter. But there’s a problem. Another instance of spatial awareness.
Between us and the counter is a lady who is trying on a large winter jacket. She is literally standing in the middle of the only access way through and out of the shop and her partner is standing there with her completely blocking the way.
Now I don’t know about you, but I like to think I’m always reasonably aware of my surroundings and if I’d been in this position more than likely I would have put a hand on Mrs P’s arm (or bum if the truth be known, he says with a cheeky grin) and steered her to the side out of the way.
Unfortunately, this pair did neither and continued to block the way out. Not just for us but for another couple close by.
Anyway, eventually the couple realised all the coughing and shuffling is aimed at them and they move slightly which allows us all to get out.
Mrs P slips on her new merino gloves and finds instant coziness for her digits. This, in turn, gives her the confidence to suggest we visit one more retail establishment and before I can say “No. I want to go home and watch the football” we are in the car and she is driving us in that direction.
As we drive she remarks on the two instances of people not really being aware of their immediate surroundings.
The policeman thing she could sort of understand. I mean I have been known two embellish the odd tale with some physical movement of the arms etc. But the couple in the shop, she thought, was just being plain rude.
I wasn’t so sure. I felt they were very much lost in the moment and, unfortunately, we were the ones having to pay for that, albeit in an extra three minutes of our time.
Mrs P wasn’t having any of that.
She said they should have been aware of the limited space available and adjusted their activity accordingly. Simple as that.
It was about then we stumbled across the third instance of spatial awareness - or lack of - to befall us that day.
I say “stumbled”. It was actually more of a heavy nudge.
As Mrs P continued to rant about people being more aware of their immediate surroundings, she pulled into a car parking space and promptly bumped into a lamp post on the kerb in front of us.
