Free Whangārei confidence-building lunchtime workshop for women today

Business and life coach Michelle Clarke is holding a free workshop today to help empower women.

"Don't chase butterflies but build gardens that attract them", is one of the methods a Whangārei empowerment coach will be encouraging Northland women to take back their sparkle at a free workshop today.

Michelle Clarke has teamed with Dress for Success Northland to hold the free lunchtime event. The You Matter workshop covers confidence-building techniques to give women a boost after both Clarke and the organisation noticed a decline in women's confidence since Covid-19.

"I really have noticed [more anxiety] and it upsets me. People got scared and the opposite of joy is fear," said Clarke, who has extensive experience in business and life coaching.

One simple activity, which is the first step to happiness, is noticing things we love.

"If you notice yourself feeling small or tight or frustrated or angry or sad, all of those indicators that you've moved away from tapping into yourself, start using your five senses – look, feel, sound, smell and taste - in a positive way and notice what you love instead of what you don't. You can tune in literally to that even while you're out shopping.

"Those are five things you can do in the morning and five things you can do at night and it only takes five minutes. If you bookend your day, it doesn't matter too much what happens the rest of the day."

Clarke found herself in a dark place around 15 years ago when she hit rock bottom.

"I found myself in this situation with a house, car, job and kids, I was working in the corporate world and a young mother and it just got way too much. I had no time to do what made me happy and I was miserable. I just wanted to die.

"People look at you and think, 'Surely you'd never want to die', but I was having a mental breakdown."

Clarke will share some of the tools she used to pick herself back up.

"I used to have massive ups and downs but now they're pretty even. I still have days where I get frustrated with myself. When you're happy, you're not dependent on other people."

Clarke now recognises this situation in other women and feels it is her job to help empower women.

"Men are better at self-care and doing what makes them happy but women tend to put themselves last and then we wonder why we're miserable.

"I can see so much pain and it's much easier to feel great every day and stop all the misery if only people had the tools. I don't just see it through my daily job but even just socially; people feel so small and afraid and I just want to give them a hug."

One of Clarke's mottos is: "Don't chase butterflies - build gardens that attract them.

"People often think, for example, if they have the car, they'll be happy. But we won't, we need to build the garden that makes us happy right now."

Today's event will be held at The Orchard, 35 Walton St, Whangārei from 1pm-2pm.

Where to go for help:
Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
Youth services: (06) 3555 906
Youthline: 0800 376 633
Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)
Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
Helpline: 1737
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.