Emily Henderson: Taking to our opposite corners and lobbing missiles, real or verbal, is not leadership

Dr Emily Henderson and Dr Shane Reti, together lay a wreath for Anzac Day on behalf of Parliament.

OPINION

At the Anzac Day dawn service on Monday, it was deeply moving to see so many Whangārei people again safely able to stand together to commemorate and mourn the self-sacrifice of servicemen and women who died to protect us.

Behind each Anzac ceremony are the individual losses to families and friends, something thrown into sharp relief by the sad annual reading of 30 names from more than 600 lost by our region alone, and by my second, smaller Anzac visit to Pehiāweri Marae in Tikipunga.

There, whanau gathered to remember their soldiers and to pass on the stories of those lost and those who returned, often never speaking much of their wartimes beyond some funny anecdotes.

I was reminded sharply of Granny, a radar operator in the Battle of Britain, who told funny stories about the perils of night-time duty without a women's loo, but never of the young men she worked beside who flew out and never flew home. And Grandpa, who flew in the Pacific, and told funny tales of scorpions in his boots but never of the 23 young men of his squadron to whose families he wrote when they were killed.

They risked everything to create a safe future for us, the children then unknown.

Since then, despite all the various conflicts, it has felt as if we had perhaps learnt to avoid world war at least.

It's appalling, therefore, to face this Anzac Day with Europe once again in the grip of unreasoning military ambition, causing more families horrific loss and uncertainty.

The war in Ukraine may seem distant but in reality we are deeply connected, the shockwaves rippling through the world's food and petrol prices, and threatening the international laws that smaller nations like us rely on for stability.

We are providing humanitarian aid, places to Ukrainians who have family here and military assistance in technology and protective equipment.

We are also part of the international condemnation of Russia's actions, cutting it off from global trade and penalising the oligarchs who support the regime, with serious impacts on their economy.

Our steadfastness is necessary: As we commemorate our soldiers' sacrifices we do so knowing they fought to "end all wars". War, as was said at Pehiāweri, is good for nothing.

International unity is important because it shows aggressors that we have the means to bring them to a standstill. But it is what we do next that counts.

There is a whakatauki or Māori proverb that the true food for leaders is dialogue.

Taking to our opposite corners and lobbing missiles, real or verbal, is not leadership: It is cowardice and ego. It is only through international forums for dialogue such as the United Nations that we have maintained relative peace since the world wars.

The current situation is showing the system's cracks but the proverb holds true: True leadership is having the strength and humility to sit down with those whose opinions differ and find a way through.

Yesterday, at our Anzac dawn service, Dr Reti and I laid aside traditional party rivalries to lay a wreath together, to limit exposure to Covid for the service people who normally accompany us. It was a very small act of co-operation, but I was glad of it.

Even now dialogue is underway across the world to end the war in Ukraine. In a time of demagogues and deliberate division, we must all work that much harder to summon the strength and humility to come together again.