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Opinion
Home / Northern Advocate / Opinion

Blustery week brings lost laundry, pricey coffee and caravan mishaps - Kevin Page

Kevin Page
Opinion by
Kevin Page
Columnist·nzme·
15 Sep, 2025 04:50 PM5 mins to read
Kevin Page is a teller of tall tales with a firm belief too much serious news gives you frown lines.

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Kevin Page and Mrs P ran into a bit of trouble thanks to some bad weather. Photo / NZME

Kevin Page and Mrs P ran into a bit of trouble thanks to some bad weather. Photo / NZME

Mrs P and I have had a bit of wind trouble this past week.

I’m talking in the meteorological sense – naturally – and it has to be said it hasn’t been much fun.

For starters, I’ve lost my favourite blue T-shirt.

I hung it out to dry the other day just before the wind really got up where we are at the moment. Then I forgot about it. As you do. Particularly when the inside of your mobile residence is toasty warm and comes complete with a hot chick who says she’s feeling a bit bored.

Enough said. Ahem.

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Anyway. I stuck my head out of our caravan next morning and my T-shirt had vanished from the clothesline I’d carefully “man-pegged” it to the afternoon before.

I searched the immediate area without success.

Then I went back to the weather forecast online and discovered the hurricane force winds that have been plaguing us these last few days have been coming from the west.

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It stood to reason my T-shirt was that way. Somewhere.

“Exhaustive” searches by myself and Mrs P – basically we leaned on the fence of the paddock next door and squinted into the distance – revealed nothing.

There was a hint of something blue under a tree in the distance where some sheep were sheltering but it was too cold to go check so we’ve marked the garment down as Missing In Action and will seek a replacement during our next Op Shop expedition.

The loss of my T-shirt was just one of several such wind-related incidents that have blown our way this week.

On another occasion a $10 note got sucked from my wallet – with three moths and one of my old business cards – during a stop at a roadside coffee stall.

I’d made the mistake of pulling in a little way past the target and was pummelled by the forces of nature as I tried to walk back.

Eventually I made it, ordered my coffee and opened my wallet just as a truck roared past – downwind.

I’m thinking its speed created some sort of vortex and before I could say “That’s an expensive coffee” the legal tender, the moths and the business card were sucked from my grasp and went flying after the truck.

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Oh well. It’s not every day you effectively fork out $17.40 for a coffee. If it has been a good one it might have softened the blow a little. Unfortunately it wasn’t and it didn’t.

After that it was Mrs P’s turn to encounter some windy woes.

She’s been struggling with some ongoing back issues of late but, anxious to keep mobile as recommended by her medical team, she set out on a walk with Yours Truly the other day to get some fresh air.

It has to be said there was plenty of that. But it was rushing past at about 100 miles an hour.

Still, we had a decent walk at a decent clip with the wind behind us, which was somewhat enjoyable. Then we turned round to come back. Big difference.

The wind was so strong My Beloved, who, shall we say, is slender of frame, had to lean right into it at times to avoid being blown over.

Unfortunately, this approach came with some risk. Particularly when the blustery wind suddenly dropped away completely. Which it did. And Mrs P went down, face first.

Thankfully, I was at the back of the column – keeping an eye on her rear. Oops I mean “the” rear – and was soon on hand to offer support and guidance back to the car.

Eventually, I got her back to the caravan but she’d tweaked her back again so was a bit miserable.

That’s where the last of our wind woes emerged.

I was dispatched to get some Panadol from the chemist down the road and accordingly sped off to save the day.

Now I don’t know exactly what happened because it all went so fast but I mustn’t have been concentrating too well because I pulled up outside the chemist next to a 10-minute parking sign and opened the door, loosely holding it as I started to get out.

I’m sure you can guess what happened.

The wind came from nowhere, yanked the door from my hand and smacked it full on into the sign I had parked too close to.

Groan. I expect that box of Panadol is going to end up costing me something like $405. That’s $5 for the drugs and the remainder for panel beating repairs.

Obviously, Mrs P wasn’t too happy when I relayed the news and its financial implications on my return.

Following as closely as it did to the costly coffee incident there was a fair bit of “silent reflection” sent my way that night.

I’m hoping it doesn’t last too long.

Maybe, just like the wind, it will all blow over eventually.

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