Put the boot in to get fit

I'm ready to be yelled at. I'm ready to sweat. I'm ready to tone up, slim down and torture myself in the process. I'm ready for boot camp.
Like fashion, exercise trends rise and fall. A global survey shows that boot camps are now the exercise du jour, while the previously favoured pilates has lost its mass appeal. Boot camps run intense group-based circuit training sessions and they are fast gaining popularity with its promise of hard and fast results.
It's the exact opposite to the calm, core-strength-focused philosophy of pilates, which requires time and patience to do well. Reality shows like The Biggest Loser are no doubt contributing to its popularity; others say boot camp is a cheaper, more social alternative to personal training.
For whatever its mass appeal, I decide to jump on the bandwagon to see why people are getting all hot and sweaty over boot camps.
I join Jono's Boot Camp, run by personal trainer Jonathan Hall. His programme consists of three sessions over six weeks. Two sessions are calisthenics-based circuit training, the third is mostly off-road hill running.
It's with a mixture of fear and excitement that I turn up for my first session. I have just one question: Will pain make me skinny?
The other 23 boot campers are a mixed bunch, ranging in age from 17 to the mid-50s. There are guys and girls of various shapes, sizes and exercise levels.
Jonathan issues orders: "20, 30, 40 press-ups and when you're done, the same in squats."
We run relays with logs and flip tractor tyres across the field. We do lunges, tricep dips and step-ups. There are a few groans, a few laughs, gasps of breath, and plenty of chatter.
Get-fit boot camps usually shy away from their military background.
There is no chorus of: "Yes drill sergeant."
In fact, Jonathan is downright nice and I'm determined not to let him down by wimping out. Or rather, I don't want him to see me cheat. He says he keeps positive and tries to have a laugh. "I think that's the best way. People don't respond well to being yelled at."
It's the social aspect that pushes people, he says. "A lot of people make some pretty good friends. When you're with other people you can push yourself a bit further. I'm the same and when I'm training by myself I slack off a bit.
"There's the feeling of letting the group down and people don't want to let me down."
His brother, Andrew, was converted by the group aspect of boot camp. "I'd been going to the gym but I'm more motivated with boot camp. I get more competitive and I push myself harder," he says. Friendly competition with the other guys also spurs him on.
Andrew has lost 10kg since starting the course in November. "It's all about project skinny," he says. He's also enjoying increased fitness. When he first started he could do 40 press-ups in a minute. He's now almost tripled that.
Colleen Kaye, 46, knows from experience that boot camp isn't just for the young guns. She's been going for 24 weeks and has dropped two dress sizes in the process. She sleeps better, has more energy and has revolutionised her family's eating habits.
Stephanie Wright says that despite the obvious results, boot camps are not about a quick fix but about developing good habits that stay long after the six-week programme.
"Exercise is only half the deal," she says.
"If I want to lose fat I'm going to have to change the way I eat."
Many people don't eat properly, Jonathan says.
By properly, he means eating comparatively frequent small meals that are rich in fruit, vegetables and lean meat - and cutting back on processed foods such as breads, and cutting back on alcohol. Cadets keep a food diary. Six days a week they're supposed to eat healthily. A slip-up costs 20 press-ups.
"Give up cake?" I whimper. But there's no time to think about that. Jonathan's looking my way. Quick, look busy.