"And on the left is our guest house," announces Nautilus winemaker Clive (CJ) Jones as our bus tootles alongside their Kaituna Valley vineyard. "If you're ever in Marlborough and need a place to stay, you're sweet there. It's even got an awesome dress-up box."
It's safe to say that at that moment everyone in the bus, including myself and a bunch of too-cool-for-school Auckland restaurateurs and wine-trade people, all looked sideways at each other.
"Aw c'mon, it's not like that," back-tracks CJ, "It started ages ago when we had some visitors from the UK. They needed costumes for a party, so we let them loose in the local Salvation Army shop with $20 each - the costumes stayed and now it's just become a bit of a tradition."
He can see we're only half-believing his story and quickly quips: "Ahem, oh look, ladies and gentlemen on the left is our compost heap ..."
After deftly distracting us by explaining the finer points of the bokashi method for successful decomposition, we're given a sneak preview of their 2011 sauvignon blanc.
"These are three tank samples of sauvignon from our different vineyards, with different soil types which are blended together to create the Nautilus style," says assistant winemaker Brett Bermingham.
"But just remember these are unfinished wines," interjects CJ, "They're cloudy, they're pretty gassy and they're really acidic. So enjoy."
These are three very distinctive components out of a possible 25 that CJ and Brett can use for the final blend. I fall in love with the last one, a sauvignon from their Awatere Valley vineyard which, curiously, has been fermented in a 5000-litre oak cuve.
It has delicious lemon verbena, basil, passionfruit and tomato leaf characters, with a touch of toastiness.
Although Nautilus is not in the business of making "single vineyard" wines, there's every chance that because of its distinctive character, this little number, according to CJ, "may end up one day becoming a stand-alone sauvignon".
A vertical chardonnay tasting is up next, but not before we're given a taste of Nautilus' new project, gruner veltliner.
Gruner is the signature grape of Austria, and Nautilus has a teensy four barrels of the stuff sourced from new vines out in Kaituna. Among the group murmurs of "florals", "nectarine stone", "lemon", "chalky minerality" and "white peach" are offered. I love its creamy, custard-apple texture on the finish.
Plus there's a gewurztraminer from their Renwick vineyard which I could quite happily sip on all day, such is its heavenly rose petal, ginger and lychee aromas and sweetly crisp, spicy fruit flavours.
Although it's no secret that I'm a huge fan of the Nautilus pinot noir and think that the fruit they harvest from their Clay Hills vineyards out in the Omaka Valley is nothing short of sensational; it's their chardonnay which really spins my wheels.
Marlborough chardonnay is something else (and sadly underrated) and when well-made has incredible fruit intensity, combined with elegant minerality, texture and length. Crisp and clean, yet dense and juicy - favourites of mine are the Fromm La Strada 2008 and the Dog Point 2009, but chardonnay hasn't always been a favourite for CJ.
"When I arrived here at Nautilus in 1998 I had thousands of litres of chardonnay in tank that we didn't know what to do with and an almost equal amount in barrel that was stuck*; so back then it was a huge challenge for us to make and sell. But I had a chardonnay epiphany a couple of years later when I was over working at Domaines des Comtes Lafon in Burgundy where I tried my first Montrachet.
"I learned two things from Mr Lafon: one, always employ great-looking cellar hands, and two, that it's okay to make just small amounts."
He learned the key to great chardonnay is not to be greedy. So these days the vineyard team at Nautilus crop the chardonnay right down to about only 2kg a vine, whereas a few years back the vines were allowed to carry three times that amount. "It's all about fruit concentration and purity for us," he adds. "I think that correlates to what's going on in the marketplace," adds Clive Weston, head of Negociants, the distributor for Nautilus.
"The world is full of chardonnay, whether it's French, South African, Californian or Australian - so if you're going to make chardonnay, you have to make a wine that's distinctive so that when people see it they can tell it's a great wine that stands out."
Back in 2007, Nautilus was making only 250 cases of chardonnay, five years on the wine is still going strong, albeit having developed some nutty, mealy notes alongside its still-fresh acidity and tropical fruit.
In 2008, production increased to 750 cases and the use of indigenous yeasts became the norm.
It has a funky, sweaty character to it, but still carrying peachy, tropical notes, it's definitely more broad and creamy than the first.
Whereas 2009 is a different beast altogether, with deliciously fresh grapefruit, peach, tangelo and toasty characters making it ultra-fresh and flavoursome - sadly for me it's practically sold out - but the 2010 has huge potential.
*Stuck fermentation is fermentation that has stopped before all the available sugar in the wine has been converted to alcohol and CO2.
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